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Acojad · Sep 17, 2012, 07:14 AM

I have a 4yo granddaughter who is causing me some concern.
Whenever she does anything wrong, she is told off and then cries which of course is perfectly normal but after 20 seconds or so the crying develops into screams lasting around 5 or more minutes.
Her mother says 'it comes and goes' and just leaves her daughter to cry until she finally stops although her father, my son, tells his daughter to stop and almost immediately she does!
I believe something may be wrong but am at a loss to know exactly what.
Is it possible she has some mental disorder or is highly strung and probably needs medication to calm her down?
Your advice would be welcome.

JudyKayTee · Sep 17, 2012, 07:16 AM

Originally Posted by Acojad

I have a 4yo granddaughter who is causing me some concern.
Whenever she does anything wrong, she is told off and then cries which of course is perfectly normal but after 20 seconds or so the crying develops into screams lasting around 5 or more minutes.
Her mother says 'it comes and goes' and just leaves her daughter to cry until she finally stops although her father, my son, tells his daughter to stop and almost immediately she does!
I believe something may be wrong but am at a loss to know exactly what.
Is it possible she has some mental disorder or is highly strung and probably needs medication to calm her down?
Your advice would be welcome.

Only a Physician can diagnose "mental disorders." It would appear that in this case the parents are not worried. I would not interfere.

What does "tell her off" mean? She's four!

Fr_Chuck · Sep 17, 2012, 07:17 AM

I would say there are times she wins and gets her way, at least with someone, ( opinion, she does it, since she still expects it to work at some time

joypulv · Sep 17, 2012, 08:35 AM

How is she being told off? By loud yelling, by any chance? Don't touch that! Drop that! Get out of there! - shouting?
She screams because of the way she's being told off, because she can, because it gets attention from her dad, because she's upset and confused about what she did wrong.
4 year olds need to be told what was wrong and why, they still need to be distracted from doing wrong with something good to do, and they need to be told firmly but not in a raised voice.
Don't go near the computer. I'm working on it and you could break it. Go get your Etch a Sketch and draw me a doggie.

JudyKayTee · Sep 17, 2012, 09:15 AM

Originally Posted by joypulv

How is she being told off? By loud yelling, by any chance? Don't touch that! drop that! get out of there! - shouting?
She screams because of the way she's being told off, because she can, because it gets attention from her dad, because she's upset and confused about what she did wrong.
4 year olds need to be told what was wrong and why, they still need to be distracted from doing wrong with something good to do, and they need to be told firmly but not in a raised voice.
Don't go near the computer. I'm working on it and you could break it. Go get your Etch a Sketch and draw me a doggie.

- And I think there's a difference between being corrected and/or disciplined and being "told off."

I also wonder - because this was posted by the Grandmother - if everyone isn't correcting child: mother, father, Grandmother.

I have this problem in my family. My step Grandson's "other" Grandmother has no problem disciplining him, even if he isn't doing anything against the "rules of the house."

jenniepepsi · Sep 17, 2012, 02:48 PM

If the phrase 'told off' is perhaps simply a miswording, and you mean the child was corrected or disciplined in a healthy way...

At 4 years old, it can happen. Especially in sensitive children. My 4 year old niece will cry and scream for hours if she does not get what she wants. My daughter did this briefly and then grew out of it.

If you speak to his doctor, and there are no concerns from the doctor, I would say it is a phase and she will grow out of it.

But as other posters have said, if 'told off' means she was shouted at, or inappropriately punished, than it is NOT an issue with the child, it is an issue with the parent.

JudyKayTee · Sep 17, 2012, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by jenniepepsi

... If you speak to his doctor, and there are no concerns from the doctor, i would say it is a phase and she will grow out of it. ... .

Jennie, my concern is that the Grandmother is posting this, not the parents who apparently aren't terribly concerned.

I don't see that the Grandmother has any "rights" whatsoever to talk to a Physician about the child.

I will bet money that this is one of a set of problems in the way this family "operates."