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oliash · Sep 16, 2012, 07:27 PM

My 2 year old has recently started nursery for 2 sessions of 2 hours a session. He is terrible when I leave him. Hes also fretfull when I pick him up. He constantly panicks for the rest of the week at home saying he doesn't like it, mommys house, mommys car. He has also for the last week statred screaming mommy all night crying devistated. This can go on for as long as 4 hours. I go into him, lie him back down, stroke his forehead and leave. I can do this up to 25 times a night!! I must state that he has gone from sleeping 13 hours every night without a peep out of him to this in the last week. It is so out of character of him. All I can imagine is he is suffering from separation anxiety from me. Can anyone help.

JudyKayTee · Sep 16, 2012, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by oliash

My 2 year old has recently started nursery for 2 sessions of 2 hours a session. He is terrible when i leave him. Hes also fretfull when i pick him up. He constantly panicks for the rest of the week at home saying he doesnt like it, mommys house, mommys car. He has also for the last week statred screaming mommy all night crying devistated. This can go on for as long as 4 hours. I go into him, lie him back down, stroke his forhead and leave. I can do this upto 25 times a night!!! I must state that he has gone from sleeping 13 hours every night without a peep out of him to this in the last week. It is so out of character of him. All i can imagine is he is suffering from seperation anxiety from me. Can anyone help.

Do you have any reason to believe something inappropriate is happening in nursery school?

Wondergirl · Sep 16, 2012, 07:48 PM

Tell me about taking him to nursery -- from home to the school. How does he behave? What are your actions?

Alty · Sep 16, 2012, 07:51 PM

My son had horrible separation anxiety up until 3rd grade. But, when I left him, the teacher would have to grab him from me, he'd settle down, enjoy his day, and look forward to going back. That didn't stop him from having a fit the next time we went, but he always settled down within minutes after I left.

What your son is going through doesn't sound like separation anxiety. He sounds terrified. I would seriously consider a different nursery school, or ask the teachers at his school now what goes on during the day, because your son is terrified of going.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 16, 2012, 07:53 PM

Have you ever left him with strangers before? Two years old is very young for nursery school. Is this daycare? I would stop and try again in six months.

oliash · Sep 16, 2012, 08:37 PM

I've not left him with strangers before. I started him at this play school for only 2 hours Monday and 2 hours on a Wednesday to learn to mix with other children, interact, play. He's very bright forward boy and thought maybe he would benefit from it. I'm not taking him agsin. I Definitely this screaming through the night for me us Definitely due to it. I've told him mommys not leaving him agsin. But I worry for next year when he's 3 and hasto start nursery class in his school.

Alty · Sep 16, 2012, 08:41 PM

I would not have said "Mommy's not leaving you again". I would have told him that mommy sometimes has to leave, but she'll always come back to get him.

How do you react when you take him to the school? What do you do? Your reaction, and things you're saying or doing, may be what's causing this.

Wondergirl · Sep 16, 2012, 08:50 PM

Are there moms with smaller children in your area, ladies you could have a cup of coffee with and allow the children to play nearby? My friends and I did this once a week, taking turns at each other's home. Each week, one of us moms would be the official babysitter and would spend time with the children, helping them to interact, share toys, etc. It gave the children experience in being with others their age and gave each of us moms the chance to interact with each other and with our collective children.

At the age of two, the most you can expect is parallel play with other children. They don't really play together, happily and cooperatively, until a few years later. Moms can read board books and books that have textures in them to two year olds. Counting objects and talking about colors are good things to do. Hand clapping and singing to music are also early learning ideas.

I agree. Keep him at home for at least six months and maybe find another mother and small child or two to spend time with.

teacherjenn4 · Sep 16, 2012, 09:23 PM

Originally Posted by oliash

I've not left him with strangers before. I started him at this play school for only 2 hours Monday and 2 hours on a Wednesday to learn to mix with other children, interact, play. He's very bright forward boy and thought maybe he would benefit from it. I'm not taking him agsin. I Definately this screaming through the night for me us Definately due to it. I've told him mommys not leaving him agsin. But I worry for next year when he's 3 and hasto start nursery class in his school.

Can you find a mommy and me preschool? It is one where you stay with your child to get them used to the idea? If not, can you find a co-op preschool where parents are required to spend time there each week?
As a teacher, this year I had one student who screamed at the top of his lungs for 13 days straight! These things are not uncommon, but we do have criers for a couple of months.
Definitely try some play groups and try to do the socializing while you stay.
Keep us posted on how you both are doing.

oliash · Sep 17, 2012, 02:02 AM

Originally Posted by Alty

I would not have said "Mommy's not leaving you again". I would have told him that mommy sometimes has to leave, but she'll always come back to get him.

How do you react when you take him to the school? What do you do? Your reaction, and things you're saying or doing, may be what's causing this.

I told him last night I wasn't taking him there again when he was crying in his cot. I don't say it when I drop him off and he's crying, I tell him to have a lovely play, in the sand pit, play in the wendy house etc etc and mommy will be back in a bit. I do leave him with my husband, friends and mom and he's fine its just this nursery and it must be because there strangers. I know the more he goes the more he will become familiar with them but just can't keep putting him through this terrible time he's going through at the moment. I shall re think it another 6 months maybe or just wait unitl next September when he starts his primary school in the nursery class. Thank you for you help.

oliash · Sep 17, 2012, 02:06 AM

Originally Posted by teacherjenn4

Can you find a mommy and me preschool? It is one where you stay with your child to get them used to the idea? If not, can you find a co-op preschool where parents are required to spend time there each week?
As a teacher, this year I had one student who screamed at the top of his lungs for 13 days straight! These things are not uncommon, but we do have criers for a couple of months.
Definitely try some play groups and try to do the socializing while you stay.
Keep us posted on how you both are doing.

I do take him to play groups and music with mommy and he's fine, this is very much out of character for him that's why I am so concerned. Hes a very happy boy, never moans, cries just laughs and smiles all the time. Sleeps 13 hours a night without waking once. So its definitely bothering him. Im not taking him again I shall re address it again in maybe 6 months like suggested. Thanks for your help.