[poorolme]

Hey,
I've never done this sort of writing into the abyss kind of thing. I do wonder what people will think of my situation. Maybe someone would be able to suggest where I can go from here?

I met a 31yr old man when I was 18 and a virgin. We started dating and soon thereafter developed into a serious relationship. A few months in I started seeing inappropriate text messages from other women. When I inquired about what he was doing he confessed that he has always maintained contact with women that he has had sexual relationships with. He explained that although he COULD be monogamous with me that he believed in more of a polyamorous lifestyle.

I told him that at this point in my life I don't want to be with someone that is interested in having multiple partners or relationships-- I told him if that's what he needed, to find the closest door and not let it hit him.

Well, he adamantly stated that he was in love and wanted to be with me, only me. We moved in together.

Several times throughout our relationship I have caught him speaking to other women. He claims to have never met them or acted on the impulse but he was caught doing what he said he wouldn't.

Now, I'm 23 and he's 35. We're still together but just barely. He resents me for not letting him speak to other women and never forgiving him for lying. I resent him for being a liar and hurting me in the first place. We talk about breaking up almost daily. A lot of the time our altercations become physical. Though, when it comes down to him actually packing his things and leaving we both find it difficult.

Why is it so hard letting go? Why can't I tell him to pack his things, leave, and not to contact me again?
He tells me that I'll never find someone to treat me better than he did. That people may love me but it's because they don't know me. He calls me vindictive and cruel. I don't know what to think anymore. Am I cruel? I don't think so.
I've never been with another man. I've never been interested in being with another man. He tells me that he loves me but I don't feel anything from him anymore. The thought of him leaving makes me sick. I just don't know what to do.

[tickle]

You both need a break from each other. and you need to take the initiative.

[talaniman]

At some point you have to realize his love isn' working, and make a decision to change things.