[jiu jiu guy]

Hey guys

Been having a real big problem lately. Ive been with plenty of girls in the past 2 years and the sex has been great. Ive been on top of my game.

But I've finally met someone that I actually love and it seems I've been lacking in the sexual department. Ive been having problems keeping an erection for sex. I have no problem getting an erection during forplay and I can even from oral sex but the moment it comes down to sex... I instantly loose the desire and the erection goes away. I really do want to have sex with her, and share that closeness with her but I just can't seem too.

Ive been thinking of the reasons this happens. She is a virgin and I have inserted my penis a few times and it put her through a lot of pain. Ive also been stressing from work, school and things like that. But now it just seems that wenever we fool around she starts innitiating sex I just loose the desire.

PLEASE HELP guys. This is really starting to depress me.

Any info or advice would help me a lot. Thanks

[manimuth]

The mind plays a HUGE part in desire and sex. So, try to clear up what ever is bothering you emotionally: Since you are stressed, that could be a cause. Was it trauma from causing her pain? It is very normal. Just make her feel comfortable, make sure that she is very lubricated, and take it slow. It gets better after the first time.

Also, it maybe that since it happened once, you are afraid and conscious of it happening again, making you nervous and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy.

Work on whatever is bothering you inside and get back your confidence. This should help a lot.

[Ash123]

IT'S NORMAL.

You are used to "mackin' on crazy tail" and not thinking twice.

Now, you're with a chaste, respected partner... and you feel a bit more... "responsibility"
UGH! Bet once your brain "gets it" you will be psyched to be in such a great spot.

In 3-4 weeks, **provided she's enthusiastic, you'll both be FINE. You don't have to closet who you are and what you like... bring it out slowly and enjoy.

RELAX and enjoy the process.

Make light of it. Just tell her that being is much in love is new for you and in a way that sort of makes you BOTH VIRGINS!

Cheers

[Bluerose]

Sounds a bit like the Madonna Syndrome. It happens with guys after their partner has had their first child.

You guys need time to adjust from the mother mode to the sexual partner with a baby mode.

Her being a virgin could be the same thing. You are feeling a little overwhelmed with the responsibility of making her first time good. … But you hurt her - normal but your brain doesn't know that, therefore you feel a little guilty.

Talk to her, share your feelings. Reassure her that you care and want everything to be perfect.

I take my hat off to you for your thoughtfulness.

[jiu jiu guy]

Thnaks for the responses everyone... I think I'm going to just have to talk to her about it. Its new territory for me so it's a bit depressing.

Thanks again.