[chankhan]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. We love each other a lot and even trust each other. But we had some problems too. One of my classmates who liked me hacked into my account and found pictures of me with an ex of mine. He sent those pics to my boyfriend and my boyfriend had trust issues. We had a major fight but we managed to calm down and get back to normal. There was a time before when he tagged team with another guy and confronted me. Asked me if I was cheating on him. There were no evidences that I was cheating on him. So I forgave him and we stuck together. It seems that he has developed trust issues. People keep brainwashing him and he starts confronting me again and again. And I keep forgiving him again and again. But I love him a lot. A lot a lot a lot. But he's not behaving normally now. He's all secretive and doesn't text me much. He seems busy all the time. He's online on whatsaap but he doesn't text me. But before, he wld text me all day and be sweet. Now it just seems like he doesn't care.
I am particularly upset today because last night I met him and he was going to meet a retired officer (hes a narcotics officer himself) and he didn't drive. I asked him why he's not driving, and he said the other officer gave him instructions. I didn't think much of it. He then left rather abruptly. After afew hrs, he started texting normal stuff like I am tired and going home. But his texts were all misspelled like he was drunk. I asked him if he was, he said no.
Then today, he said he was. I asked him why he lied, and he said it was because I don't like him drnking. Yes, I am absolutely against drinking but I never stopped him from it. Why is he lying to me? And he hasn't texted all day even though he is online.
I don't know what to do! Help! What is he thinking? And why did he lie? And why did he go for drinks when he usually doesn't?
I don't know what's going on but I am very very diistressed :(
Someone please advice me!

[roynelson82]

Good morning chankhan. It seems that what you are experiencing is pretty common in a typical BGR. Im married for some time, and dated my fair share of ladies. I won't call myself a love guru or anything however I hope my advice helps.

It seems that the trust issues appears when someone send your boyfriend pics with your ex. What kind of pics is that if you don't mind sharing. Is it nude etc, why is he affected by that? I would be devastated if someone sent me pics of my wife with someone else. I'm sure you would too if someone send pics of your boyfriend with his ex.

Have you ever asked him why is he behaving that way. Is he cheating on you? You mentioned that he is a narcotics officer, is he working? Btw what's whatsaap. Isit some form of programs like MSN etc.

I'm surprised he admitted to drinking. You got to give him credit for been honest and brave enough to own up like a man. You mentioned that he met with an retired officers, and he drank with him. Maybe you got to cut him some slacks, I know for a fact cops drinks a lot! They don't drinks starbucks and eat donuts like in the movies! His job could be giving him a lot of pressure, I served as a state trooper for sometime few years back, it's not easy been an law enforcer.

Everyone lies, I'm sure you do too! I think you should talk to him, openly, you said both of you love each other a lot. Do something about it, it's not easy to find your significant others these days! Don't lose him over stupid issues like lying, it happens, so deal with it!

[C0bra_M3nace]

The question is, can you live being accused and confronted for the rest of your lives together?

He has trust issues for a reason, whether they're from his past or present, but he's not going to change. People seldom change, especially for anyone else. You need to decide whether you can handle his insecurities because I can guarantee many more oportunities to confront you will present themselves later. There are people out there who can handle being confronted, you're clearly not one of them if you're here asking for help. I would sit down and have a long thought about your relationship and if you really want to continue. If you can't leave, you may have to learn to put up with it.