[Jason_1980]

Ok, my fiancé and I have been living together for almost three years and are getting married next may. Our first year together we had an amazing sex life and now has become very one sided. She has not been on the pill for almost a year and when I ask her why she never wants to make love anymore she says because she doesn't want to get pregnant before the wedding. We have very busy lives so she hasn't been able to make her appointment for birth control and she isn't comfortable with taking chances with a condom. I have resorted to masterbating on a regular basis but she doesn't take any part in that anymore either. I've tried watching porn, but there always feels like something is missing. Everyonce in awhile she will let me go down on her and she will have an orgasm, but then she finds it stressfull because then she has to turn me on so I can orgasm. She never wants to go down on me and when she says she wants to go down on me, we always have this huge day of events planned and by the time we get home it never ever happens. I asked her if I tasted bador smelled bad or something and she said no but that she has to be in the mood to do it. She rarely ever touches me. I know she is not cheating on me or anything like that, but I just feel like she has become very selfish in the bedroom and I'm left sexually frustrated. I don't like watching porn, I love her very much, but have felt very neglected. I feel like I'm always the one trying to get her in the mood and when it happens, which is maybe like once week, I please her and getvery little in return. She says she loves me and I believe her because she is so excited about the wedding and everything.I've tried talking to her, shaving and trimming, I've even have tried not going down on her for awhile but I can never hold out as long as she does. I enjoy going down on her, it turns me on and makes me feel good that I can make her feel so good and get her off. Why wouldn't she feel that way about me. Any advice?

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to resolve this BEFORE the wedding, sounds like she is making excuses, since finding time is just an excuse, if this was important, she would. Does she find time to get her hair done or her nails done perhaps.

So I would pospone the wedding at this point till this gets resolved

[Synnen]

Some women simply do not like to give oral sex. You have to just live with the fact that your woman is one of them.

That being said--can you make the appointment for her and then take on her burdens for a day so that she DOES have time? I don't blame her for not wanting to get pregnant before she's ready---if you think she doesn't have time NOW, just add a kid to the mix. My son was planned, and I am still astonished at how much time I don't have anymore. If she doesn't have time for a doctor's appointment, she sure as heck doesn't have time for a kid.

Is this about sex? Or about intimacy in general? I know men look at things differently than women do, but are you intimate in other ways? Do you talk, share secrets, hopes and dreams? Do you cuddle on the couch and touch often?

[joypulv]

This needs a LOT more communication. She says she loves you, but it seems that all she is excited about is the wedding. If her only goal is marriage and your sex life remains the same when married, whether trying for babies or not, then you seriously need to not get married.
You need to talk when not in bed, and not upset, and when both of you have time. If you are watching TV on the couch, turn it off and say that this very important topic must be worked through.