[clarissejessica]

I'm a Christian girl currently dating a Filipino Roman Catholic. We've been going steady for a couple of years but the one thing that's always popped up in my mind is what will happen if we do get married and have children? I've asked him about his stance with his faith, Jesus, his beliefs etc. His answers actually don't sound Catholic at all! However being Catholic to him is more than a religion - it's his culture (being Filipino and all). I know that if one day he does choose to become a Christian and come to my church, his family would be angry with him and myself. It would drive their family apart and I don't want that.

On the other hand, I've asked him what he thinks we will do in terms of child rearing and his answer is always "I don't know what I would think five or ten years down the track." I know that I want my children to know the Christian faith as I do - that it is God centred, and we have been saved to do good works - we don't do good works in order to be saved. I fear that this will be a big issue if we get married and we both believe different things. I don't particularly like the thought of alternating churches every week and signing a document saying that I will raise my children as Catholics.

Can anyone give me advice on this?

-C

[Wondergirl]

Catholic IS Christian. It was the first Christian church formally formed after Jesus' resurrection and ascension.

I'm Lutheran, so am not Catholic, but they also believe in Jesus as Savior, as God's Son who has taken away our sin. Did your boyfriend say he has to do good works to be saved? If so, he does not understand his church's teachings.

[clarissejessica]

I know Catholicism is Christian - but just for the sake of differentiation that's how I chose to word it. I went to a few different churches growing up (all Protestant), so I don't like to box myself into a denomination but currently I'm at a Presbyterian church.

I don't think he really believes that you have to do good works to be saved. However he does go to confession and has holy communion every week (he does this because he thinks that if he doesn't have it every week it is a sin). All in all, his beliefs are more Protestant, but his traditions are still very Catholic. But he only came to this conclusion about his beliefs after I asked him about it. He always wants to wave the topic away though, like he wants to avoid the topic until we really have to think about things like which church to get married in etc. To me however, it's an important topic if we were to continue our relationship. It's like he goes to church so he doesn't lose his family and culture.

[Wondergirl]

It's like he goes to church so he doesn't lose his family and culture.

But aren't you this way too? I can say the same about you, right?

[clarissejessica]

For me Christianity isn't a culture - it's a lifestyle.

[Wondergirl]

In other words, it's the same for you as for him. Your beliefs define who you are just like his beliefs define him.

Please take classes at his church (or at a Catholic church near you), not for membership, but to learn about his church's beliefs and practices and rituals. He should do the same at your church. This will be the only way you two can talk with each other intelligently and in a God-pleasing way.

[JudyKayTee]

I'm a Christian girl currently dating a Filipino Roman Catholic. ... I've asked him about his stance with his faith, Jesus, his beliefs etc. His answers actually don't sound Catholic at all! However being Catholic to him is more than a religion - it's his culture (being Filipino and all). I know that if one day he does choose to become a Christian and come to my church, his family would be angry with him and myself. ... I know that I want my children to know the Christian faith as I do - that it is God centred, and we have been saved to do good works - we don't do good works in order to be saved. I fear that this will be a big issue if we get married and we both believe different things. I don't particularly like the thought of alternating churches every week and signing a document saying that I will raise my children as Catholics. ...

I have a couple of problems with this - you seem to think that Christian and Catholic are two different things. They aren't - as Wondergirl said. Catholic and Protestant are.

You say "his answers don't sound Catholic." What exactly is he saying that doesn't "sound Catholic"?

Why do you think Catholicism isn't God centered?

If you marry and he remains a practicing Catholic you don't "alternate" churches. He is still obligated to attend Mass once a week. He could, of course, go to Mass and then go to Church with you, but your service does not change his obligation to attend Mass.

Separate religions can cause problems, particularly family problems. I was raised Roman Catholic and my late husband was an Orthodox Jew. We certainly discussed things before we got married, but I did not understand his religion in the beginning, nor did he understand mine.

[Fr_Chuck]

And most Christians don't believe you have to do good works to be saved. I know Presbyterian church believes in salvation by faith alone, you do good works because it is what God wants, but it is not required for salvation. Very few Christian churches teach that.

So it makes me wonder if you know what your own church teaches.

Presbyterian in fact has many of the same beleifs as Catholics, although slightly more liberal, at least here in the US.

Just what beleifs does he have that does not sound Christian?