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kayla jackson · Sep 10, 2012, 06:54 AM

Hi, my name is Kayla. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. Throughout our relationship we never have a problem with cheating on one another. We stayy right next door to each other and he constantly accuses me of cheating. When I'm not with him I am home and every time he calls I'm home , but yet he throws in my face everyday at least 5 times every other hour that I'm cheating. What should I do?

Homegirl 50 · Sep 10, 2012, 07:02 AM

Why do you stay and put up with it?
Tell him if he really believes you are cheating, to leave you alone.
In fact, you need to leave him. This relationship can't be any fun.

Fr_Chuck · Sep 10, 2012, 07:11 AM

Then he is not in love, you may be in love, but he is not,

He has a problem with trust or perhaps issues with commitment.

If he is doing this all the time, then it is not a healthy relationship and I have no idea why you have wasted 2 years in it.

Cat1864 · Sep 10, 2012, 08:29 AM

Kayla, may I ask how old you are and what your previous relationships have been like? Is this what you expect from a boyfriend?

At best he has trust issues. At worst he is trying to control you and your actions because he can. You should have interests and hobbies that do not include him. You should have time with friends and family without him accusing you of anything.

Do you even have any friends outside of your relationship? Do you work and/or go to school? Can you walk down the street or eat out without him accusing you of cheating?

If he doesn't trust you, nothing you can do will ever convince him you are trustworthy. Living your life to appease him only feeds his doubts and insecurities. The more you do to 'prove' you are trustworthy the more he will look for details to show you aren't. A broken phone, taking too long to answer the door, smiling at a stranger, etc. will become ammunition for his accusations, if they haven't already.

Is this really how you want to live your life? Understand that you cannot change another person. Any changes that occur have to be because he sees his behavior isn't appropriate and wants a better relationship with you than you have right now. If this has been going on for two years then he is probably convinced that his behavior is acceptable because you are still putting up with it. So why change his perspective or behavior?

You can change yourself. You can decide that loving him isn't worth giving up who you are and control of your own life. You can decide to say enough is enough and let him go.