[Jbettencourt79]

Can my ex girlfriend cut my schedule with my daughter. Basically the same schedule that I have had with her since she was born? She is 2 now. Her mother came out aug.9. She told me that she would be taking my daughter every other weekend on aug. 5. She said that this would be the new schedule now until our mediation date. Which is sep.13. So all of a sudden I went from around 60 hours a week. To 68 hours every two weeks. I have made it clear that I want 50/50joint custody. She hasn't and will not give me the new address to my daughters house. I am at the mercy of her when she drops and picks up my daughter. She is always early dropping her off and has been hours late picking her up. I have tried to compromise with her on everything. It is her way or nothing. I just want to be with my daughter. In her life! No more no less than her mother. I have nothing to say bad about my ex as a parent. My daughter has everything she absolutely needs at both houses. She is very happy and safe with both parents. But my ex is making it really hard and frustrating on my part to be in my daughters life! Is what she s doing right? Should I have any concern in not getting 50/50 custody? Thanks

[ScottGem]

Your girlfriend can't change court ordered visitation. But you haven't indicated that anything is ordered by a court. You refer to mediation, who requested it under what conditions?

[Jbettencourt79]

Your girlfriend can't change court ordered visitation. But you haven't indicated that anything is ordered by a court. You refer to mediation, who requested it under what conditions?

There is nothing set in the courts yet. I filed for perternity. I got the mediation date and the court date. My friends dad is a family atturney he helped me out a little bit with the paper work and forms. She filed the same day. But the paper work wasn't complete. There were no court dates nor mediation dates. Just the 30 day reply. On her paper work that she had served me with, she even wrote the same days and nights that I a have always watched her. Same times and everything. She even said in the court paper work that I was in fact the paternal father. But then like I said she just started taking more and more time way from me. She has even not let me seen my daughter because she wanted other friends and family members to spend time with her. Is what she doing right.

[ScottGem]

Is what she doing right.

This is not about "right" or wrong. This is about the law and you need to understand and accept that.

Since you were not married, until a court issues orders she is in control. She can do anything she wants. On the other hand, when it comes to court and you show that a) you had significant visitation which she agreed to in her original filing and b) she started limiting that visitation the court may be more on your side.

So you need to keep a journal. Keep track of each time she changed or broke into your scheduled time. Bring this to court.

Did you sign an acknowledgment of paternity? Are you on the birth certificate?

[AK lawyer]

... She hasn't and will not give me the new address to my daughters house. I am at the mercy of her when she drops and picks up my daughter. ...

Next time she drops the child off, tell her that you will return the child to her house, so that she better tell you where it is. If she doesn't, don't.

[ScottGem]

Next time she drops the child off, tell her that you will return the child to her house, so that she better tell you where it is. If she doesn't, don't.

I'm not sure I would recommend that. First, are you on the birth certificate or is there an acknowledgement of paternity on file? If you are not the legal father, then, if you refuse to give her back the child you can get in trouble and hurt your chances for custody. She can call the police and you have nothing to show you are the legal father.

Plus, since you have a court date scheduled, I would wait for that. Better to do everything through the courts.

[Jbettencourt79]

This is not about "right" or wrong. This is about the law and you need to understand and accept that.

Since you were not married, until a court issues orders she is in control. She can do anything she wants. On the other hand, when it comes to court and you show that a) you had significant visitation which she agreed to in her original filing and b) she started limiting that visitation the court may be more on your side.

So you need to keep a journal. Keep track of each time she changed or broke into your scheduled time. Bring this to court.

Did you sign an acknowledgment of paternity? Are you on the birth certificate?

Yes I signed a acknowledgment of paternity. Yes I also am on the birth certificate as well.

[AK lawyer]

Yes I signed a acknowledgment of paternity. Yes I also am on the birth certificate as well.

In that case, you have exactly the same custodial rights as she does. So tell, don't ask, her that you will be exercising the custody schedule to which she originally agreed. If she doesn't agree to that get the court to issue an emergency order.

[ScottGem]

Then AK is right, until a parenting plan is approved and ratified by the court, you have exactly equal rights. My only concern is if you push hard she may not give you any visitation for fear you won't return the children. And if you don't, then you will look bad in the eyes of the court.

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes, legally you have the same rights, but there is no court order to use to enforce it.

So if she cuts out any visitation, there is nothing you can do but go to court to try and hurry the motion along.

Have you discussed this with your attorney ? Don't go to custody hearing without one