[syriawilliams1]

My husband and I are very young. We have been together for 4 years but we've only been married for 7 months.. honesty, I feel like we got married for the wrong reasons. We moved in together because we both had terrible home lives with our parents. But Christianity says we shouldn't be living together unless we are married, so our parents pushed us to do it. My husband is a good man and he's very hardworking and intelligent, but we are exact opposites and the fact that we love each other doesn't even seem to matter anymore. He has serious anger problems and even though he'ever physically hurt me, he says things to me that make me cry every time we argue. I'm just tired of being hurt.

The arguments we get into last so long. And its usually over dumb crap but then it escalates and other issues from the past start to come up. Our communication is also bad. He does not know how to express his feelings to me at all and sometimes I feel so neglected. I also wish he would compliment me. Or say I love you without me saying it first.
He is also very controlling. I don't have any more male or female friends because he gets so jealous. We'be been together since I was a freshman in high school, so I haven't even had a chance to live yet. I even gave up going to college this year to move in with him. But he doesn't see that as a big deal. I think I got married too young and I don't know if I should move back in with my mom or try to work on things.

[Cat1864]

May I ask how old you both are?

Has the relationship always been this way or did it get worse after you moved in together and got married?

Would he be willing to attend marriage counseling with you?

If his behavior changed after you married, he may be feeling trapped like I think you are. Counseling would give you both a safe place to discuss your feelings and see if there is a marriage to save.

Do not stay together because your families' beliefs say you should. If possible, as a couple find your own path through this. If he won't work with you and/or you are afraid, then find your own path without him.

If your home life was so bad that you ran away from it to live with him and then gave into pressure from your families to marry him, then I would not suggest moving back in with your mother. Is there some other place where you might be safer and more comfortable until you can get on your feet?

If he is abusive (mental and emotional do count) then you might look into women's shelters in your area. If you do not feel safe in your current home, then you need to get out.

Do you currently have a job outside the house? If not, then I suggest starting to look for one. In the meantime, do you have any hobbies or skills you could use to make some money?

Why did you give up going to college to move in with him? What changes made it impossible for you to attend? Money, distance, etc. What were you planning to study? Have you given thought to going to a community college or seeing what is available in continuing education classes which are often cheaper and can give you basic skills training.

Good luck.