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    Coolluke77's Avatar
    Coolluke77 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 5, 2012, 02:05 AM
    Mother left state with what I believe to be my unborn child
    My ex-girlfriend left. I am in Montana and she moved to Idaho to be with her ex and other son. I found out she was pregnant before she left but lied to me about the time of conception. I was told I can't file for a paternity test until a month before the birth. She is now saying she is moving out of Idaho and possibly getting married before the birth and won't tell me where. Help. Can she do this?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Sep 5, 2012, 02:10 AM
    Yes, she can.
    And you can try to get the child tested. It's just going to be very difficult.
    And it won't be just finding her, and dealing across state lines. If she has the baby after getting married, you may have an even tougher time getting a court to order DNA testing.
    Coolluke77's Avatar
    Coolluke77 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 5, 2012, 02:36 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Yes, she can.
    And you can try to get the child tested. It's just going to be very difficult.
    And it won't be just finding her, and dealing across state lines. If she has the baby after getting married, you may have an even tougher time getting a court to order DNA testing.
    How long do u think it will take if she gets married? I don't want to miss any of my child's life. This is so wrong.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
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    #4

    Sep 5, 2012, 03:16 AM
    If she gets married and calls her husband the father, you may never even have a chance to demand a DNA test by court order. Montana and Idaho don't have putative father registries (and that wouldn't help you much anyway - read the post at the top of the board). You could hire an expensive lawyer to track her down and try to restrain her, but it's a very long shot. What evidence would you present?
    You both got into this pregnancy without marriage; you had already broken up; you didn't even know when she conceived or with whom. It won't be easy to start making very many demands around after the fact. Please don't shoot the messenger (me).
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #5

    Sep 5, 2012, 03:34 AM
    If she marries before giving birth the husband will be the presumed father. You will need to find her and file a paternity suit where she lives. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you, but if she is determined it will be expensive for you to get anything legal done.

    The law gives you rights, but you have to find her first so you can exercise your rights. I would back off and find out everything you can about her plans without asking her.
    Coolluke77's Avatar
    Coolluke77 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Sep 5, 2012, 03:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem View Post
    If she marries before giving birth the husband will be the presumed father. You will need to find her and file a paternity suit where she lives. I'm sorry I don't have better news for you, but if she is determined it will be expensive for you to get anything legal done.

    The law gives you rights, but you have to find her first so you can exercise your rights. I would back off and find out everything you can about her plans without asking her.
    Thank you both for your advice. I'm really lost and didn't mean to sound rude. It's all very frustrating.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #7

    Sep 5, 2012, 03:41 AM
    Don't think you were rude at all. I can imagine how frustrating this is. Of course this IS a consequence of having sex without getting married.
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