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Glimmers123 · Aug 26, 2012, 06:31 PM

This is really complicated but I have a group of friends that I was plain on going to homecoming with for a while now. Well this group of guys kept asking my friends and we they kept saying no. So we decided that we would all just go as a big group of guy/girls as friends. Well this one guy is somewhat friends with the guys but none of him wanted to invite him but he is planning on asking me to homecoming... And I don want to go with him!! If I say no I just want to go with friends he will soon realize that his friends are going with my friends and be left out. But if we just go as friends - he wouldn't get his feelings hurt- but nobody would want him there... What do I do!?

Homegirl 50 · Aug 26, 2012, 07:52 PM

How do you know he will be left out?
If you don't want to go with him, don't. Then you have to ask yourself which is more important to you as a person. This is something only you can decide.

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 04:18 AM

Originally Posted by Glimmers123

This is really complicated but I have a group of friends that I was plain on going to homecoming with for a while now. Well this group of guys kept asking my friends and we they kept saying no. So we decided that we would all just go as a big group of guy/girls as friends. Well this one guy is somewhat friends with the guys but none of him wanted to invite him but he is planning on askin me to homecoming... And I don want to go wih him!!! If I say no I just want to go with friends he will soon realize that his friends are going wih my friends and be left out. But if we just go as friends - he wouldnt get his feelings hurt- but nobody would want him there... What do I do!!???

Put yourself in his shoes - how would you like people to handle the situation?

Glimmers123 · Aug 27, 2012, 02:57 PM

I don't want to I with him! Like I don't really know him.. He hasn't even asked me cause he is so scared just one of his friends has... And none of the other people that I'm going with want him there. I texted his friend today to tell him that I've already made plans with friends already - which is true- but apparently he just wants to dance with me a couple times. Is it to mean to say back " maybe if we see each other at the dance we can dance together"??

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by Glimmers123

I don't want to I with him! Like I don't really know him.. He hasn't even asked me cause he is so scared just one of his friends has... And none of the other people that im going with want him there. I texted his friend today to tell him that I've already made plans with friends already - which is true- but apparently he just wants to dance wih me a couple times. Is it to mean to say back " maybe if we see each other at the dance we can dance together"???

Again - treat him the same way you would want to be treated. Keep in mind that what goes around comes around. Today you're the "insider" in the high school crowd. Tomorrow you are out and he's the "insider."

I think you're making a mistake by making your decisions in life based on what your friends think - "... none of the other people that I'm going with want him there."

If it will harm your reputation or self respect or something else, when he asks you to dance say, "no." Keep in mind that next week you could be the person being rejected.

That's how the world works.

Glimmers123 · Aug 27, 2012, 03:05 PM

I get what your saying and I know that it's hard to ask someone to go to a dance with you. But not only do my friends not want him there but I don't really either.. I'm a goody too shew

Glimmers123 · Aug 27, 2012, 03:07 PM

An he's been suspended before... I know that I'm not supossed to judge and all but that doesn't look so good...

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by Glimmers123

I get what your saying and i know that it's hard to ask someone to go to a dance with you. But not only do my friends not want him there but I don't really either.. I'm a goody too shew

You're a what? What is a goody too shew?

Glimmers123 · Aug 27, 2012, 03:43 PM

I get good grades, and don't get in trouble. On the other hand he fails classes and has gotten suspended from school before... That doesn't look good.. I don't want to go with him but I don't want to hurt his feelings either

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by Glimmers123

I get good grades, and don't get in trouble. On the other hand he fails classes and has gotten suspended from school before... That doesn't look good.. I don't want to go with him but I don't want to hurt his feelings either

Hmm - that changes things.

I think the best you can do is line up a "plan" with a friend - you can't go with him because you have already made plans (no need to tell him what the plans are) and if he asks you to dance the back-up friend springs into action and dances with you first.

Glimmers123 · Aug 27, 2012, 03:49 PM

Ok! You think I can just text him " hey I don't think I can go with you to homecoming because I have already made plans with some friends. Maybe we will see each other at the dance" is that nice enough?

JudyKayTee · Aug 27, 2012, 04:09 PM

Originally Posted by Glimmers123

Ok! You think i can just text him " hey I don't think I can go with you to homecoming because I have already made plans with some friends. Maybe we will see each other at the dance" is that nice enough?

Yes, it is - and then arrange a signal with the stand by "help me!" friend.