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Ducks12345 · Aug 18, 2012, 02:43 PM

My parents aren't divorced yet... they want one but they are still together, and I'm pretty sure my mom is seeing someone else. I've asked her and she said he was JUST a friend, I knew she was lying. I read her text messages to him and it killed me. I'm only 12 and I hate this, I want her to tell me the truth I honestly would be a lot happier if she just came clean and told me and my brother and dad. I told my brother this and he just said oh whatever, so that didn't help and I don't know who to trust. Please give me advice, I need to end this.

joypulv · Aug 18, 2012, 02:50 PM

There is never an easy answer to this!
BUT what you may not have thought of is this: you just don't know the whole story. For all you know your father had an affair first, or is having one, or gave your mom a STD, or told her he hasn't loved her for years. YOU DON'T KNOW! I'm not saying any of that is remotely true, just that nothing is ever what it seems unless you are totally there, involved, know the whole situation.
So what do you do? Nothing. You could act a lot more reserved around your mother, and if she asks, tell her. But you should not have been reading her texts, and the very fact that she didn't do a good job of hiding them lends more credence to her telling you the truth than not.
Your parents may be married in name only, because divorce is so expensive, especially splitting up the home and all the possessions. VERY expensive. If one or both of them is having an affair, had an affair, is about to have an affair, I'm sorry that children have to be aware of it but it's life, and you need to deal with it.

Alty · Aug 18, 2012, 03:01 PM

You asked your mom and your mom said this guy is just a friend. Why don't you believe her? What if she is telling you the truth?

Bottom line, your parents are getting a divorce. Should your mom be seeing someone else before that happens, well, it's not ideal, not tasteful, but your parents marriage is over, all except the paperwork.

I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, but your parents are human. If their relationship has been over for a long time then why can't they move on?

Homegirl 50 · Aug 19, 2012, 07:59 AM

I'm sorry you are going through this but what right do you have to go through your mother's text? This is none of your business. This is their affair (your mom and dad's) not yours. Your mom gave you an answer, accept it.

JudyKayTee · Aug 19, 2012, 09:22 AM

Originally Posted by Ducks12345

My parents aren't divorced yet...they want one but they are still together, and im pretty sure my mom is seeing someone else. I've asked her and she said he was JUST a friend, I knew she was lying. I read her text messages to him and it killed me. I'm only 12 and I hate this, I want her to tell me the truth I honestly would be a lot happier if she just came clean and told me and my brother and dad. I told my brother this and he just said oh whatever, so that didn't help and I don't know who to trust. Please give me advice, I need to end this.

Here's my take on this - it kills you that your mother lies to you, isn't truthful... but you are reading her text messages (I would guess behind her back) and you don't have a problem with that.

You need to end what? The talk of divorce? Your mother's "relationship" with someone? Your mother's "lies" (maybe). Your snooping (definitely).

You have no idea what goes on between your parents. I would stay out of it, as painful as that might be.