[gannymoo]

I may not be in the right place sorry if I am not, This might seem silly as my son is 37 this year we have always got on well but he lives on his own not near me, but I do go and visit often, I have to ring him every 20mins to half hour otherwise he gets upset. I know it is stupid even if I am out he wants me to phone him.

He asked me to go on holiday, yes just me without his father. Yes OK his father can be grumpy but I would not leave him to go on holiday, and he (my son) said he would pay for me to go. The thing is, I do not want him to pay. He did pay for our last holiday, took me and his dad to Florida, and it was a nice holiday, but because I said I would have to think about it he went mad. I told him I would ring him in a bit when he had calmed down, well he said don't bother. Ok I said you ring me when you feel better. I said love you he just said huh bye.

That was 5 days ago and he hasn't rang me. Do I ring him? I aways end up ringing and saying sorry even though I feel I have done nothing wrong for goodness sake. Hes not a baby but I hate this feeling you know the emptiness inside. My daughter and my other son are not like this. I do not know how to handle this.

Any ideas? Thanks. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

[talaniman]

You are right. He isn't a baby, so don't treat him like one. Let him get over it himself. He will.

[gmaof04]

Agreed. He knows how to push your buttons. He's a big boy.
Your response "...you ring me when you feel better. I said love you..." was perfect and the mature thing to say.
I must say though, his insistence to have you call him "every 20 minutes" is creepy!

[Fr_Chuck]

You have to call him every 20 to 30 min ? For real ?

Your son needs help if that is true, And if that is true no wonder your husband is grumpy.

Next where is his dad, your husband in all of this ? Sorry not inviting him, I would not even consider going without my partner esp not asking him,

You need to "cut" some apron strings and let your son grow up.

Don't know if it is you that has caused this, or him that won't let go, but it needs to happen.

[joypulv]

If you aren't exaggerating about the demand to be called every 20 to 30 minutes, then I think he has some real emotional problems. It's so juvenile to be that way at age 37. Maybe even a symptom of Asperger's, if he has other problems like having no social life and being mostly reclusive. I'm not a big fan of labels like that, but how does he handle the rest of his life? He must have a good job if he can pay for your vacations.
Your job is to stop this, starting with limiting your calls to something like to a day to start and then 1, and then less than that, with specific timelines for each reduction.