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    AkaMrss's Avatar
    AkaMrss Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Aug 10, 2012, 11:27 PM
    Is it good trying to talk to him after breakup?
    I have been in relationship with my boyfriend almost for one year. I broke up with him one month ago. The problem was with him. He went to a vacation for 16 days. Before he went to his vacation he promised me a lot of things and then when he came back things weren't as I expected it. Almost everything was different. Then I realized that I have to let it go. And I did.

    But every single day he was in my mind. I just can’t get him off my mind. Even if he hurt me so much I can’t stop thinking about him and wishing to see him again. And today I went to his house because of his sister and we met after one month. His sister told me that he missed me and stuff, but I didn't believe her. Today when I see him, I wished I can run to him and hug him as always but, all I did was act like we never met and run out of that house. After I got home I talked to his sister and she told me he is really mad because I didn't talk to him.

    I am really confused with what to do. He broke my heart. Everybody is telling me to let it go. Even my sisters. I know it hard for me to trust him again, but my heart kept wishing to have him. I Still love him, I don’t know if I have to talk to him or not. Do I have to be the one who have to take the first step? I really need help please :(
    WisperWill70's Avatar
    WisperWill70 Posts: 277, Reputation: 84
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    #2

    Aug 11, 2012, 03:44 PM
    All your friends are going to always say "dump that guy who isn't giving you what you want"... but only you can know whether you LEGITIMATELY care about this guy beyond your "needs and expectations" (which are usually about getting what you want, protecting yourself, etc. etc.) and are willing to give him and the relationship a chance. Watch those "Expectations" because they can create a situation where you're not even letting the relationship grow or giving it a chance.
    Did he really break your heart or did he actually care about you but just not do what you expected and wanted in the moment? Did you ever find out why he didn't live up to your "expectation" ? Maybe he was scared of going to the next level like you were. Did you ask him how he was feeling or did you just toss him out.
    Be honest with yourself. And are you really being honest with the breaking up if you still want to hug him and reunite with him while you're "broken up"? Come on! Sounds like you still cared about him and just wanted him to give you something he couldn't give you... but that he cares about you and didn't want things to end.

    Only you know if there's a chance that you guys didn't give each other still. If not -- Don't play games. If you do want to move on, do it! Allow yourself to move forward in your life without trying to change what really is happening.
    here2assist's Avatar
    here2assist Posts: 101, Reputation: 27
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Aug 13, 2012, 09:30 AM
    The mind works in mysterious ways. When you're with someone and not happy all you want to do is get out. Then, once you're out you find yourself thinking about and missing the person. Before you attempt to reconcile and get back together really think and consider why you ended things in the first place. You may find that it's for the best even though it hurts.
    AkaMrss's Avatar
    AkaMrss Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Aug 13, 2012, 09:18 PM
    Thank you guys it really helping the suggestion that your giving me but,.

    @WisperWill70 I know what you saying, I know what my hear keep asking me. All I'm saying is I'm scared of getting hurt again. I'm scared of trusting him. He used to say that, he won't ever leave me. Also he used to say that he doesn't want anyone else in his life again. But when we break up all he did was,quite everything. He didn't even tried to prove it for me. I felt like all those thought were just Drama. So I don't know how I can't believe him. I can't let it go either.

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