[charlalynn]

So I've been with her for five years. But we broke up last November because she decided she was unhappy w the relationship and wasn't attracted to me anymore. We were apart for three months and she wanted me back. I said no but I gave in because I still loved her and wanted to be w her. Since we got back together she was different. Before we broke up she was distant and I could tell she didn't want to be w me much longer. When we got back together she said she is one hundred percent sure she wants to be w me now etc etc she acts nice and acts like she loves me again. But lately we have been fighting a lot again about stupid stuff. She ignores me every time we fight. If we are texting and I make a valid statement about her behavior she just ignores me. She said she is unhappy because she thinks I'm selfish. She said we need to do more fun things together and I said you we should then I said I'm still happy in this relationship even if we aren't doing something fun every second and its only her that's unhappy and she said that made me selfish that I don't care about how anyone feels but myself. Every time we fight its almost a break up. She has even broken up w me for a week then comes back and says we aren't really breaking up. Today I asked her if she is debating to break up again or not and she said no then I told her to text me when she wants to talk normal again and she has ignored me since that text. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. Everyday I feel like I'm just waiting for a break up. Why am I being ignored? She always rejects me when I try to show affection. Why? It hurts a lot. I just want to love her. Why can't she just love me back.

[galacticfed]

I will point out a bit of psychology first. If the person asks "well you wanna brake up don't you?" or "Why don't you just brake up with me" It is really that person usually subconciously who wants the brakeup to occur. Now, my best advice is to ignore her completely. It's called the no contact rule. No texting, no calling for at least say... two weeks to a month. Psychologically it will tell that person in a sense that YOU are doing the brakeup, and will cause them to feel needy in a sense. And if she says we should brake up agree with the brakeup, no "just being friends'' because that leaves the door open for them to walk away easily. NO CONTACT RULE.

[charlalynn]

I used to not ask that but this has happened numerous times since we got back together in February. We have had like five or more "mini break ups " for like less than a week and it had always been her doing the breaking up! So now I know its coming so I ask. Its so dumb I know. I don't want to break up I would like for her to just make up her damn mind of what she really wants or not. We had planned on moving in together in one year because she is transferring colleges and when things are going well its well but then we have a fight and suddenly everything is off. Its annoying and I'm fed up w having my feelings played with. I love her very much I just don't even know or think she feels the same. I would never do this stuff to her. I'm just confused at this point. And I can go a little bit w o talking to her but then I start thinking of bad things and I break down and need to talk to her. This situation sux.

[here2assist]

As someone that did the on and off again relationship for a year and a half I think I can offer good insight here.

I was in a very similar situation although I was the one doing the breaking up. I wasn't trying to toy or mess with his emotions. I truly loved him and thought we had a crazy, amazing connection but I wasn't happy with him. We'd break up for a couple weeks and then get back together when one of us caved and contacted the other person. I never played the silent treatment when we were together (not broken up) as I believe that's a form of emotional abuse and I prefer to talk out my problems and communicate openly.

It was a vicious cycle and a waste of each other's time. I'm telling you this relationship is doomed. For whatever reason she's not happy with you. She even told you and it sounds like you guys are just not the right fit or match.