[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

Okay so there's this girl... she happens to be my best friend literally... for a good year and a half whenever we would go out to the bar or whatever with each other she would be all over me and we kissed and stuff, for that whole time she tried to get me to take it further with her because of her attraction to me and I pushed that away because I don't believe in doing that with a friend... So after all that time, about 3 months ago I finally gave in and we ended up sleeping together... quite a few times...

The issue is this, not only do I not agree with doing that, but all the time I actually did kind of like her... to me she's an amazing girl and our friendship is awesome... on top of that we are both attracted to each other... now I knew that if I ended up doing that with her that it would make my emotions come out in the open as I'm the type of person who expresses myself openly... So it did, I told her how I felt... and she said she is in no position to be in a relationship right now and doesn't want that... and the reason she thought it'd be okay is because I always said how I'm not looking for a girlfriend or anything (which I'm not really, because I had a terrible relationship prior to all this... ) So I simply stated that I'm not talking about right now, but in the future...

So even after all this, things got kind of awkward but we still hung out and still do hang out... however I noticed more and more after that when we would go out I would get kind of jealous at the bar and became really critical and almost resentful about basically being shot down by my best friend... Even though she told my friend that she really really likes me long before we did anything... I feel I was led on... Now she says she doesn't want to do anything like that with me physically, not even kiss anymore... the issue with that is I don't believe you can just have that component and take it away and expect things to return to normal... on the other hand, she seems to think it will...

I don't have many good friends in my life anymore and I really don't want to lose her... but I really care about her a ton and I find it incredibly difficult when we go out now... it bothers her that people while we're at the bar "think we are together", even though I don't do anything while we are out to give that impression... its just painfully obvious to other people that I care about her... I'm at a complete loss of what to do... I don't know how to get rid of these feelings I have for her and have things be "normal" again... I'm afraid to lose my sweetest friend and where I am in life at this moment in time I really can't imagine that

[here2assist]

You both seem to be all over the place in terms of your feelings for one another. She wants to screw around. You don't believe in doing that yet you do it anyway (not judging). You want to be with her but you don't want a relationship. Now that you expressed your feelings to her she doesn't want a relationship. It just sounds way too complicated and personally I think a healthy, balanced, positive relationship will naturally fall into place.

I would take a break until you have moved on completely. I know you don't want to lose a close friend but ypu also don't want to continue hanging on and feeling crummy about the sitch. Sometimes it's hard to imagine your life without someone but we all have had to say goodbye and we all survived. I truly believe if someone is meant to be in your life the universe will make that happen.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to stop hanging out with her for your own self esteem and preservation. I know it seems hard but it is something you need to do.
You two are not on the same page.

[joypulv]

You got jealous! She didn't expect that. You had told her you didn't want a girlfriend, and you basically lied - without meaning to, but still. So you have no right to be huffy about how she could pull away from you. Either accept it without all the wounds or leave.

[MyBrainIsMyDrug]

That is what I was afraid I would have to do, and also what a few other friends have told me... I'd like to hang out with here still but not as frequently, at least not for awhile... until I get past these feelings...

[here2assist]

So you've heard it from people that know you and people that don't know you. Hanging out less often is not going to help dissolve your feelings. You can give it a shot but don't be surprised if you're in the same place emotionally 6 months from now.