[gina00000]

Can someone give me some advice please! I have met this guy at work. Back then you could tell he liked me, and I was very much into him. He was smiling, and looking at me all the time. I could feel the chemistry between us. Once he came up to me, and started talking, but we got disturbed by other guy and I had to go back to work. The next time he came up to me I acted a bit silly its all because I was in pieces my ex boyfriend at that time told me that he will kill himself and my mood was totally off. He thought I ignored him, and I don't like him.

After that I have noticed change in his behavior, I couldn't do anything because I didn't know where he was working. After that I have met him once or twice but didn't really talk to him, he was always looking at me, looking in to my eyes, or going quiet when I was around. Since then I didn't see him at all. I couldn't forgot about him since I have met him. The worst thing is I liked him so much I was literally speechless, I found him incredibly sweet and sexy. I have never felt this way before. Never.

After a year of dreaming about him, I left the place I was working, and so did he. I rang up my previous workplace, and I asked for his for number, and they gave me. I thought, I have to do something about it, that I have to meet him and find out why I can't forget about him.

It took me a few hours to think what shall I text him, and made an excuse I need his help in some project. He replied after few hours. He told me when he is free, and if anytime suits me to let him know. We did exchange a few texts, then he said his battery is low, and he will text back but he didn't. I wanted to meet him so badly. So I waited till the next day, and I did text if he is free the following day. He replied after a few hours, but I have realized at that time that he is really busy, and I told him to let me know when he will be free. He didn't reply, so I texted him again, the day after, asking for meeting me on the day he said is free, but he didn't reply either. I was waiting all day for his reply.

So after two days of reading different advices online, I decided to text him again, I said that I am disappointed that he didn't text me back, that I am not mad because he is very sweet. I thanked him for his time. He took it very offensive, and I only wanted his attention, he said that he can take as much time in texting me back as he wants, and that he was really busy, and he was working nights.

I found him really ignoring, and arrogant the way he texted me, and I didn't mean anything bad. I didn't text him back, that I don't think anybody has the rights to ignore another person, and I think this made him mad even more. He is a doctor, and I think he is very cocky. He asked me erase his number so I did.

After I have sent him my last text, when I did apologized to him. I shouldn't even have text him at first place. I regret it so much! I feel bad because I don't even know him and he don't even know me! And I already had an stupid embarrassing argument with him! I am thinking about sending him a bottle of wine to his workplace just to apologize again, how do you think shall I do it?

I don't want anything from him, that was a stupid mistake, I have never done anything like this before. I just realized that I need holidays quick. I am stressed so much and I don't think straight. I feel so bad. Do you think is there anything I can do to makes things better? To make up for it? I didn't have the rights to ask for his number, I just want him to know that I am not like this, I am kind of nice girl. Any advice? Please?


Edited/T

[Cat1864]

I think you need to leave him alone and go on with your life.

Don't send him anything. You have apologized already and that is all you should have done.

You seem to have placed a lot of hope on a few words and looks. I think it is time to stop thinking about him and building up a relationship that doesn't exist except in fantasy. Give other males who might be trying to get your attention a chance. You might find you have as much if not more chemistry with someone other than this person.

[landomando]

I would leave him alone. I hung out with a girl a once and all she did was text me and it seemed like we were dating and it was really creepy because I didn't even know her at all. She started to stalking my Facebook and ask me all these weird things I never even told her. I told her I just wanted to be friends and she sent me a card to apologize. And I didn't even give her my address and I had a girlfriend so I thought that was really weird. So I mean it kind of seems like you are trying to be friends with him but you aren't. And you are giving this guy mixed signals. And from his view he probably thinks you were a friend and he was going to help you and you didn't really do anything to have him think you are attracted to him. So if it was me I would think after that text fight your just a jerk. And if you blew the first chance with him you really just blew his whole perception of you. And I would just leave him alone. And don't send him a bottle of wine.(creepy)

[talaniman]

I agree with the others to leave him alone and drop the whole idea of apologizing further, or sending him wine as a peace offering to forgive, and start over.

Just remember this whole thing started with you pushing for a meet up under FALSE pretenses, and ignoring the red flag that he never pursued you, or made time for you.

You tried, it didn't work, so take a nice holiday and put this whole mess behind you.

[Jake2008]

I think he presumed a lot too. He presumed that you should just assume that his job is so busy that he can't return a text. He presumed that leaving you hanging was just okay. He presumed that you would be okay with being treated in a rude way. He presumed that when he said he could help you with 'the project' anytime, and to just let him know, really meant that there wasn't a hope in hell it would happen.

I don't see that you did anything wrong. In fact, had you not tried to connect with him, you never would have known it was a dead end right from the get go.

It doesn't take a lot to return a text, even if to say that you're sorry, but your schedule just won't allow for any personal time for a week or so. That way, at least you have been treated with a little bit of respect. Then if there is no return communication, you know it's not worth pursuing.

No, I wouldn't send him a bottle of wine. As the others have said, it is quite clear he is simply not available.

[JoeCanada76]

Sounds obsessive to me. She does not even know this guy. Yet calling his work to get his number and texting him. Really? There is something wrong with that. Pushing somebody a way that is not even there. There are lots of issues here. Please know that all the texting is creepy especially from somebody that you hardly know. Setting up false pretenses for calling him. There are many many errors in your way here.

The only thing you can do, is delete the number. No more texting. No wine, no nothing else. Have to stop and let it go and please move on.

[kcomissiong]

I am going to have to agree with JesusHelper here... this is getting stalker-ish. You behavior may have scared him. You got his cellphone number from a third party, bombarded his with texts, and expected a man who barely knows you to drop what he was doing and answer your messages. He asked you to leave him alone, and you are planning on sending wine to his job? There was never a relationship here, and you need to back off.

[mosy]

Guys are way smarter than you think, and I believe he knew when you two worked together, that you had a crush on him. And it's possible he may have liked you in return but your attitude of indifference might have pushed him away initially. Remember, he is a doctor. He makes great money. He can have his pick from probably a whole harem of women. He has options. And simply, when you acted callous toward him that one day, he simply opted to look/date someone else. Probably someone you'd never heard of.

First impressions last a lifetime. You didn't know him, and he didn't know you. His perception of you is truly ruined now. And yes, your behavior is inappropriate. Sending him wine or any form of further contact would backfire even more. Sorry to be so brutally honest, but he probably thinks you're really a nutbread now. From here out you contacting him would certainly bring probable intervention by some third party, either a stern warning from the authorities or even derailment of your career. Keep in mind in this economy, employers are known for firing people who do something dumb outside of work.