[CanHeBeTrusted]

I've been dating this guy for a year and a half, and we were madly in love. What we had was what you read about in books. We talked about getting married at some point, we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. He always made me feel beautiful and would do sweet things for me all the time. All during the relationship though, I had a nagging feeling I couldn't name. I felt like he was keeping things from me. He said I had no reason to not trust him, so I felt like the crazy one for feeling that way. I looked at his phone, which was very wrong of me. I'm a very secure and confident person, I never thought I'd do something like that. I found a conversation between him and a girl where he was venting to her about me. I've never heard of this girl and when I brought it up he said she was some girl he met online a long time ago that he talked to every now and then. He promised to be truthful to me from then on and never talk to her.

A few months later, we were living together and I found out for the first time that he's a smoker, which he lied to me about and that he got a lap dance at a strip club without telling me. He promised me that there was nothing else he felt like I needed to know and that he'd be honest.

Then, while using his Skype account, (I couldn't remember my log in info), I found months worth of sexual conversations and video chats with another girl I didn't know. When I brought it up, he owned up to it, promised it was in the past. The last conversation was months before I found it, and he had deleted her from Facebook, skype, and twitter. Regardless, I kicked him out and weeks went by, he sent me a letter saying everything he learned from the experience, how it was the biggest mistake of his life, and how he's a changed man and knows what to work on. He says we're soulmates and that he'll never love anyone like he loves me, and I feel the same way. And he said that giving into a pointless physical desire isn't worth losing my love forever. He wants me back. He was always very good to me, and I can't imagine being with anyone else. He really does sound sorry, he said he wouldn't be able to change for anyone else but he knows he can't live his life like that anymore and that he won't.

But can he change? How will I ever know? Can a liar become truthful? Should I trust him again or should I let him go, even if I never find someone who I have the same magic and love with? I'm so confused, and hurt, I don't know what to do.

[talaniman]

Love and magic in the same story as cheating, snooping, and mistrust. That's typical on this forum when people don't want to let go after being hurt a few times.

I will say this, when a partner blows his SECOND chance, its time to go!