[EdwardJake]

Hi,
I am a 54-year-old male. I am single. I've never married. So, no children.
I have worked most of my life as a purchasing agent in the USA. About 4 years ago, I quit my job, because I just couldn't handle the dysfunction and mismanagement of the company I worked for. Since I had a little savings, I started my own bookkeeping practice. It was just me providing QuickBooks help for small business owners.
I found out that people trusted me and either became my client or referred me to potential clients. Meanwhile, my father gave me a pretty large sum of money as a gift, about $200K. So, I felt very secure and optimistic about building my practice.
But, I wasn't very aggressive about going after new clients. I had this fear that I would fail in providing my services to them. That I would embarrass myself by not measuring up to what they expected of me.
So, my business comprised of only those clients who were easy to get, through referrals and word of mouth. Through the next three years, I made a total of $60k ($20k per year). Meanwhile, my expenses were around $100K per year. I foolishly rented an office, hired a business coach, and just wasn't very careful about spending my money.
My savings started dwindling. In January, 2011, I visited my father in my birth country in the Middel East. When I left to go back to the States, he called me and said one of us needs to be there with him, so that if something happens to him, he would not be alone. I have two wonderful sisters and a beautiful mother in the States and my father is by himself in my birth country. He's 84 years old. He's pretty much estranged himself from all his friends and even though my mother and him still communicate regularly, they live separate lives because they never were a good match for each other. Both my sisters have family and I'm the only free and flexible "child".
He promised that he will get me involved in his charity work, buy me an apartment, and basically create a very nice life for me when I go there.
With my practice not generating enough income, I saw this as an opportunity to not only change my life for the better, but to also be of some value to my father and the rest of my family, by being there in case something happened to my father and taking care of his affairs.
As soon as I arrived in my birth country, I realized that he had changed his attitude. He started acting like he was doing me a favor. He refused to buy me an apartment and kept complaining that the only reason I went there was because I had run out of money. He constantly scolded and criticized me for not being able to generate income in. Meanwhile, the few nights a week when I would go to have dinner with him, there would almost always be some young woman (in their 20's) there as well. Obviously, they were there because he was giving them money in return for their company. I don't think there was anything sexual going on, but these girls were obviously getting financial benefits form being there. So, even the times I would spend with him were not quality times.
He basically was happy paying my hotel bills and giving me pocket money. And, even then, he would do these things with a lot of scorn and disapproval.
I had rented out my only asset, a condo in the US, so I had rental income coming into my US account. But, my expenses still were larger than this income (mortgage, health insurance, HOA, property tax, and credit card payments). He had promised to pay for my US shortages too, but that didn't happen either.
It's been 13 months now that I have lived in my birth country and I can't handle it anymore. Life here is tough with all the sanctions. Traffic is horrible, economy is going down, and the internet is extremely restricted. I really miss the small technolgical, consumer, and social freedoms and advancements in the US. I have decided to move back. That means I will need to sell my condo. So, I will lose the only asset I have by turning it into cash. My first experience with my bookkeeping practice was a failure. I can look for a job, but at 54, what are my chances? I am determined to make this move back, because I can't handle being financially dependent on anyone anymore.
But, I am scared that I will not be able to make enough income in the States and will lose my last money. Then what?

Thanks in advance for any feedback, suggestions, help, support, etc.

[Fr_Chuck]

So what would make you happy ? You don't seem to want to put into a business what you need to, You seem to promise and not fulfill.

And you are a poor money manager to be an accountant.

1. things were mismanged where you worked and you QUIT
2. you mismanged things and you QUIT
3. things are tougher than you thought, so you want to QUIT

Do we see a habit here. Guess what unless you are just doing something you love, work sucks, traffic in NY, LA and even Atlanta is bad, It used to take me and 1000's of others a hour to hour and half just to get to work, so about 3 hours of communte ever day. There are always bad things.

Sell your asset, what asset if you are paying out more than you take in, it is a liability one you should have gotten rid of years ago.

Except for the fact you don't have 200000 to blow, what have you learned about running a business. What life lessons have you found out, except that it is easy to quit will you take away from this.

And what is your plans, have you saved up money to start over again ( does not sound like it) have you gotten a job in the US to go to ?

Starting over is great if :
1. you hit bottom and need to start over
2. you want to start your own business and are ready for the challenge
3. You are in place where you can afford to do this.

I am packing up in two weeks to move to China, new adventure in life, new section of my life. Life is great and excieting, if you make the best of it, and you are a fighter.

BUT tell us, what has changed in you, to make anyone believe you can do different NOW>

[joypulv]

You know enough accounting to start your own business selling rather than consulting.
What you don't seem to know is how to manage money. Renting an office and hiring a coach, that is pretty clueless indeed for running a Quickbooks service.
There is absolutely no reason why a single person in good health cannot live on 20K after mortgage payments. I can live comfortably on less, about 13K (I don't have any health insurance other than Social Security).
First make sure you can get your condo back. Some cities don't allow you to kick out a renter even if you plan to live there yourself (Cambridge MA was one city although that was years ago).
Second, I would advertise your services setting Quickbooks up for people, not doing their bookkeeping on a regular basis. And charge more for that. It sounds to me like you weren't charging enough for the clients you had. But these days of struggle, people want to learn to do it themselves.
Third, I would write a simple budget for yourself. You obviously know how. Eating out and all those lattes? Drop 90% of them. Being frugal is a challenge and can be liberating. You need to do this to feel liberated from your dependence on dad.
Fourth, start that sales operation, online. Try eBay to start and then design your own website. You have a connection out of the US and I assume the language there; use it to your advantage.

[EdwardJake]

Fr_Chuck,

You're right. I have been a quitter. I never looked at it from that perspective.

I'm still determined to get back to the States, so I guess I have to go through with one more act of quitting.

If I'm honest with myself, I have to say I can't think of what has changed in me that would prevent me from quitting again, except maybe:

1. I just realized I've been a quitter and I don't want to continue being one.
2. If I quit again, I will not have anything else to fall back on, in terms of assets or finances.

I really want to give my bookkeeping practice one more go as opposed to looking for a job. So, this means I have to accept:
1. rejections
2. criticism
3. having clients that do not value my work
4. doing work that I am not comfortable with (not unethical or anything, but, for instance, a client who keeps messing up work that I've done for them)
5. not being paid on time.
6. and, in spite of all the above, to adopt a mindset of a fighter instead of a quitter

The thing is, it's all nice to write these things down, but when it comes to crunch time, how will I really react? My recent history has not been impressive.

I'm determined to become a fighter in life, but I'm not sure having this epiphany means that I will actually become one. I hope it's not too late to change my own mind culture at 54.

I'm planning to move to Chicago. I've never been there. If everything goes well with selling my condo, I will have about $100K in cash. I'm thinking to have a budget of $60K for my first year. I'm targeting making $20-30K in income in that first year. That's as far as I can plan into the future. I'm hoping by my third year I will have enough income to sustain me without having burned through all my savings.

By the way, I can feel the excitement from you mentioning your plan to move to China.

[Wondergirl]

Where do you plan to settle once you arrive in Chicago? (I live in one of the suburbs.)

Teach accounting and Quickbooks, but don't work steadily for small business as a bookkeeper. Teach them how, then move to another "teaching job" and be the consultant.

I have ideas on how you can promote yourself, depending on where you plan to live.