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Mewoo123 · Aug 6, 2012, 04:17 PM

I'm currently writing a second chance letter to my ex boyfriend and we've been in no contact for about a month and a half. How do I approach the question without seeming desperate and needy?

aimee225 · Aug 6, 2012, 04:45 PM

How long was your relationship and how old are you both?
Do you think giving him abit of space may help?

mmresd · Aug 6, 2012, 04:48 PM

You don't. You keep the no contact forever, remember the reasons of the break up, and move on. Time will make those feelings of wanting to get back together go away, it has only been a month.

aimee225 · Aug 6, 2012, 04:49 PM

Originally Posted by mmresd

You don't. You keep the no contact forever, remember the reasons of the break up, and move on. Time will make those feelings of wanting to get back together go away, it has only been a month.

I do get what your saying, but is there hope in getting back together?
At all?

JudyKayTee · Aug 6, 2012, 04:52 PM

Originally Posted by aimee225

I do get what your saying, but is there hope in getting back together?
At all?

As time goes by the bad fades, the good memories remain.

There was a reason the relationship fell apart. I wouldn't rekindle it and go through the loss, pain, whatever, a second time.

Mewoo123 · Aug 6, 2012, 04:56 PM

Our relationship lasted 2 years and we are both 16. I was planning to give it to him a little bit later when we both get more space. I've pretty much moved on from the emotional hurt initially... And by getting back together I don't mean like jumping straight back into a full on relationship. I mean like starting new and leaving the past behind and taking things slowly later on but not now. I also want some more time to myself.

aimee225 · Aug 6, 2012, 04:56 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

As time goes by the bad fades, the good memories remain.

There was a reason the relationship fell apart. I wouldn't rekindle it and go through the loss, pain, whatever, a second time.

I know that but sometimes second chances may be a good thing. Im only saying.

Mewoo123 · Aug 6, 2012, 05:05 PM

Also, it was mostly my fault that the relationship fell apart and I feel like I could make it work now this time around.

aimee225 · Aug 6, 2012, 05:08 PM

Originally Posted by Mewoo123

Also, it was mostly my fault that the relationship fell apart and I feel like I could make it work now this time around.

Maybe take the risk and just go for it. You never know unless you try?

Mewoo123 · Aug 7, 2012, 11:51 PM

Well, something in me tells me that it could work a second time. Initially, what do I have to lose? This time around I'm smart enough to end it if it gets bad. At the end if the month j was planning to give him the letter and possibly talk things over, over lunch or something right before school starts.

monsieurjj · Aug 8, 2012, 12:36 AM

Who dumped who? Assess the situation only you can answer if a second chance is possible if you lay all the facts

Mewoo123 · Aug 8, 2012, 09:01 AM

He dumped me because he said that the relationship became too stressful due to constant fighting and that I was really clingy. In my mind, it wasn't always like this, and since we have had time apart, I think we can fix things

JudyKayTee · Aug 8, 2012, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by Mewoo123

He dumped me because he said that the relationship became too stressful due to constant fighting and that I was really clingy. In my mind, it wasn't always like this, and since we have had time apart, I think we can fix things

I can argue this in both directions.

You never know the answer if you don't ask the question.

On the other side - you've been apart. You have begun the healing process. What if contact reopens the wound?

talaniman · Aug 8, 2012, 01:36 PM

Go for it, but be prepared for the worst while you hope for the best. I think its crazy myself, but have seen crazier things happen.

Good Luck!

monsieurjj · Aug 8, 2012, 04:23 PM

Tal is right

Make sure you have moved on first from what broke you up and learn from it then reengage

Mewoo123 · Aug 8, 2012, 07:43 PM

Well I've healed to the point where if he says no I don't see myself being too down about it. I've already made it through the initial break up. I've had friends that have broken up and gotten back together successfully after a few months.

monsieurjj · Aug 8, 2012, 07:57 PM

Mewoo123,

How did they get back together and what are the circumstances? Was there a 3rd party, a rebound? Analyze there success and also really think why you want your ex back

Mewoo123 · Aug 8, 2012, 08:15 PM

They broke up because of a lot of arguments and they just got back together after about 3 months. I want him back because I agree that we needed space but I don't think it had to be for good. I see the issues we had to be fixable and I still care so much for him

monsieurjj · Aug 8, 2012, 08:28 PM

Well my advise is if you will contact him, be casual and light hearted and don't give it your all keep it short build slowly

Mewoo123 · Aug 8, 2012, 09:39 PM

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Not seeming too emotional, or anything like that. I'm going to try to make the meeting casual and as relaxed as possible. I was planning on giving him the note next week (because I'm seeing him for an orientation) and just leaving it at that and wait for him to contact me. If he does? I probably won't make a day to meet up until a week or two later.