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    schismfan89's Avatar
    schismfan89 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 6, 2012, 07:40 PM
    Im 22 yr old male dating a 16 yr old female
    As the title says I'm 22 will be 23 in two months and she is 16 and will be 17 a couple months after that. I understand that most people including her parents thing that a guy my age is only looking for sex from a girl her age but that is not my motive. Me and her have only known each other for a short while but we are crazy about each other. We have a lot in common and even though she is 16 she looks older and acts more mature than most girls my age. I understand the age of consent laws and would be more than willing to wait until she is 18 for any sexual activity to prevent any kind of legal issues from her parents. I'm just wanting to hear some opinions of whether this is wrong or not. I know most of you will ask what does a 22 yr old want with a 16 yr old but you have to understand she is absolutely amazing and to me worth the trouble. Thanks.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #2

    Aug 6, 2012, 07:41 PM
    I wouldn't even let my 18 year old daughter date you!
    odinn7's Avatar
    odinn7 Posts: 7,691, Reputation: 1547
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    #3

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:05 PM
    I'm just wanting to hear some opinions of whether this is wrong or not
    Sure it's wrong. She's 16 and you're 22... you know it's wrong.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #4

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:08 PM
    There are legal issues, so it is wrong.
    I would not let you within 2 feet of my daughter.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:10 PM
    Honestly, although you don't "plan" on having sex, if her parents don't agree you could be charged with parental interference.

    Let her finish high school, where she belongs and you don't.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #6

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:15 PM
    Yeah, sure, she's mature for her age... Do you have any idea how many times I have heard that while raising 4 children? So don't play that card.
    schismfan89's Avatar
    schismfan89 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:17 PM
    Can u please explain why its wrong? I've dated and have known girls my same age who were very immature compared to her. I know it seems taboo due to some laws and probably your religious beliefs but a hundred years ago it was a common thing. I now your going to say times have changed but then again at least its not like some middle eastern country where 40 yr old men are marrying girls under 12. My motives are not in any way sexually influenced so can you please explain what is so wrong about it.
    schismfan89's Avatar
    schismfan89 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:22 PM
    If you must know her mother was 16 and father 21 when they married because of conception. Both of them have histories of drug abuse and are both mentally unstable and abusive.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #9

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:22 PM
    It is because she is 16, that is it, no other reason or need to explain.
    Next her parents don't want it, case closed. Even with no sex, if you a adult date a child against parents permission, they can get you arrested.

    This is not a third world country and you are not buying her for 3 goats.

    It is wrong because of your ability as a adult to use your experience to put undue influence and control over the child.

    But just the parents saying no is all that really matters.

    Next of course you say now, no sex, doubt you mean it, but after some dating, it will get there, normally over time, but it goes there.

    You sound more like the 16 year old, since a adult male would know why it is wrong unless he was just wanting to get a 16 year old in bed.

    So stay friends, and let her be a child, in 2 or three years, if she still wants a "old man" you could date
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #10

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    If you must know her mother was 16 and father 21 when they married because of conception. Both of them have histories of drug abuse and are both mentally unstable and abusive.
    So they know why it is bad and want better for her, sounds like the parents are being good and protective parents.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 39,354, Reputation: 5431
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    #11

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:28 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    If you must know her mother was 16 and father 21 when they married because of conception. Both of them have histories of drug abuse and are both mentally unstable and abusive.
    They can't be too unhinged and strung out if they don't want their daughter to date a guy who is 22.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #12

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    can u please explain why its wrong? I've dated and have known girls my same age who were very immature compared to her. I know it seems taboo due to some laws and probably your religious beliefs but a hundred years ago it was a common thing. I now your gonna say times have changed but then again at least its not like some middle eastern country where 40 yr old men are marrying girls under 12. My motives are not in any way sexually influenced so can you please explain what is so wrong about it.?
    You are an adult, she is a minor. That is what is wrong. She should be dating guys her own age, going to Proms and High School dances not hanging out with a 23 year old man. Come on guy you ought to know that! Where can you take a 16 year old. Is she going to hang out with you and your adult friends?
    Her parents need to have you brought up on charges. You know better and you don't care.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,298, Reputation: 5646
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    #13

    Aug 6, 2012, 08:30 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    I know it seems taboo due to some laws
    Laws are laws. Are you willing to forgo your freedom for this girl?
    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    probably your religious beliefs
    My religious beliefs have nothing to do with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    a hundred years ago it was a common thing.
    And so was driving cattle, so your argument holds no water.

    Quote Originally Posted by schismfan89 View Post
    can you please explain what is so wrong about it.?
    You should be graduating college and starting a career and a family. She is a sophomore in high school. Psychologically speaking you are in two totally different stages of life.
    sahar.'s Avatar
    sahar. Posts: 27, Reputation: 3
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    #14

    Aug 10, 2012, 08:13 AM
    In my opinion iz Fine if you two just be friends with NO sex! But having sex for a 16 year old girl is kind of troubling! All the best :)
    ITstudent2006's Avatar
    ITstudent2006 Posts: 2,243, Reputation: 329
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    #15

    Aug 10, 2012, 03:42 PM
    I wouldn't even agree with them two being friends. As stated earlier, these two individuals are at 2 completely different stages in life.

    Let her be a kid. You had your chance to date a 16yr old (when you were 16). Mature or not, hot or not, find someone your age. There are plenty of them out there.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #16

    Aug 10, 2012, 04:19 PM
    Ditto to what ITstudent2006 said!
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #17

    Aug 10, 2012, 04:48 PM
    Yes the older man can because of his experience take undue advantage on a child who is not experienced and take advantage of her emotions.

    A man this old is showing his true evil nature and motive the minute they don't care what the girls parents think or want. When the adult starts making excuses you know he does not have the interest of the child first.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #18

    Aug 10, 2012, 04:58 PM
    Let me ask this, Where and how did you meet this girl? Do you go to bars or clubs? Have her parents actually said no? Did you as them before even starting to date?

    You understand she can't go to a bar or drink for more than 4 years? Are you willig to give that up?

    You ask why its wrong. The main reason is because she is still a child still developing her adult personality. It is also wrong if her parents have said no.

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