[Alty]

I did in the beginning, but then I started to because I was pissed off! I am referring to other things that was said that you guys think that Im a dead beat mother who wants to get out of paying child support, I simply asked a question, I've been paying cs since 2003

I'm confused again.

I haven't paid anything in 3 months

Are you or are you not paying?

We can only go by the information you post here. We can't read your mind, we don't know what your life is like. We can only give advice based on what you post, and from what you've posted, the advice you've gotten so far is dead on accurate. Sorry if you don't like it, or feel like you've been misunderstood, but it's in black and white. So please, post the truth.

Bottom line, we can give you advice, but that's all anyone can do online. The facts do stand though. You're the mother of 4 children, you owe back child support, and going to school won't get you out of paying that support.

If that's not the question you wanted answered, then please post what you want to know.

[ScottGem]

Soke? Im not refusing to pay,,, where did you get that?

As quoted, Chuck got that from what YOU said.

See that is the problem here. People come here and ask questions and we have to give advice based on what they post and our own knowledge and experience. So we have to make judgments because often we don't get all the info and we are getting it from only one side.

You think your story is unusual, but I don't see that. Your ex decided to stick it to you and had the money to get an attorney to do so. Whether he was justified or not, I don't know. But its not unusual.

But the fact is you lost and were required to pay support, You didn't, therefore arrears have built up. Until you pay those arrears you will continue to owe unless you get a court to change things. And if you don't have an attorney to represent you, you will likely lose again.

I'm sorry, but that's the facts of life.

[lizett]

This I do know, concerning the child support. My husband went to school for 5 years and 3 of it he did not pay child support. We have been paying on his arrears slowly for 6 six years and will finally be done this next year. If you want to go back to school, you could always get loans, and pay some child support from that, but you'd still have to pay off the student loans eventually. It may just initially help pay off the arrears so you don't get in legal trouble now (if that's the case).

{unnecessary comments edited}

[Fr_Chuck]

We don't like dead people parents here in general, and sorry she said she refused to pay, did not say she could not afford to pay, did not say she tried to pay, she said she "REFUSED" to pay. A parent who just refused to pay child support is not on my list of favorite people. If we go by the posters exact words we are not judging, we are accepting them for what they say they are.

If they wish to change their story, fine, but then do so.

[JudyKayTee]

This I do know, concerning the child support. My husband went to school for 5 years and 3 of it he did not pay child support. We have been paying on his arrears slowly for 6 six years and will finally be done this next year. if you want to go back to school, you could always get loans, and pay some child support from that, but you'd still have to pay off the student loans eventually. It may just initially help pay off the arrears so you don't get in legal trouble now (if that's the case).

Scott: yes judgments are necessary concerning the law. I am wondering if personal judgments are necessary such as by "judykaytee" asking her if she was avoiding child support and stated sarcastically "you are amazing".

First, you carrying your disagreement with the law on another thread to this thread. If you want to resurrect that - and apparently you do because you keep challenging my every answer - you want to abandon your stepdaughter legally. Anyone who wants to review that history can find it easily. I moved on from that; you chose to reopen it.

The OP on this thread is the one who opens up that whole subject - and to quote her: "As for the lady above me, you did the right thing in protecting the rest of your children against the other child. I have been there done that." That's pulling in another thread.

Second - no sarcasm. I find it amazing (yes, amazing) that a person would spend the time and money to go back to school (and even with loans, grants, there ARE expenses) in order to avoid paying child support. Absolutely amazing. I see no statement about improving employment options, a desire for a career. I only see how to avoid paying child support.

I read "I paid support; I didn't pay support." Which is it?

If a MAN posted "I can't find a job and my ex is evil and I don't have my children and can I go back to school and avoid paying child support" the AMHD regulars would jump all over him with heavy shoes and flaming torches. Why is it different if it's a woman posting?

Third - the OP was married (apparently) to a man of means. She divorced him (presumably had grounds to do so) and walked away with nothing? No spousal support? No division of property? No settlement? Why? Highly unusual.

Unless, of course, it's his FATHER's money that she and her husband lived off (for 10 years, as I recall), and she had no problem with nothing in their name for 10 years - right up until the divorce.

Something about the divorce in general doesn't read true.

And, yes, another example of the OP posting one set of facts - and then dancing around, based on the answers.

[Fr_Chuck]

Closed

[JudyKayTee]

Lizett: Im sorry they upset you,,, I take it with a grain of salt. Everyone on here seems to have an opinion rather than good legal advice,, which was all I asked for,, not someones opinion. I simply asked a question,, I never said I wasnt going to pay child support, matter of fact, Ive paid over $33,000 since 2003 so I am far better of a parent than most who dont pay.

You have paid $3,666/year; $916/child per year; $17.62/child per week. Not terribly generous. Yes, I do agree - paying $17.62/week to support a child is better than paying nothing. (This is the “I’m bad but they’re worse” defense.)

What makes you think you’re the only person on AMHD who has ever been in a custody fight? What makes your “story ... very unusual”? Again, why the assumption - “I don’t have to explain ... but I will so you can have some sort of knowledge you have never experienced and I hope you never will!” It appears you haven’t read any other threads.

Why after 10 years of marriage and 4 children you didn’t “ask” for anything other than child support after ten years of marriage and 4 children with a man you say is very wealthy is confusing. You asked for nothing - no spousal support, no division of community property, nothing. That isn’t even allowed in my State. So that I “can have some sort of knowledge,” why would you do that? Your Attorney went along with it? You work $12/hour jobs, he’s very well off and you get nothing after 10 years?

If I understand what you are saying, in 2000 (following the 1998 divorce) you and your children (you had residential custody) moved to Colorado to live with your “ex,” the “evil” man who, so far, had done everything he could to destroy you.

Did you get Court permission to leave your State and make the move, reconciling but not remarrying, protecting your options? Colorado became your children’s legal residence.

You moved back to your “old house” (I have no idea who owned the “old house” at that point if you received nothing in the divorce settlement). You “told” him you were moving. Through a series of scams and misrepresentations he (and, of course his Attorney, and your 10-year old son who admitted in Court that he didn’t know what he was signing and/or what the paper said) managed to get a restraining order against you and get the children moved back to their legal residence in Colorado.

For whatever reason the Court forced you to do “numerous of things” to prove you are psychologically sound, you had to undergo therapy “several” times (and twice a week, so I’m assuming for two weeks) and you had to prove your house is safe. I would think you passed with flying colors. Assuming your “ex” had to go through the same evaluations and had the same burden of proof, was it determined that he was a good parent? I’ve done a lot of background in a lot of similar cases and I’ve never seen a person who moved from here to there with children, with no other issues, having to undergo “numerous of things” UNLESS there’s an abuse problem of some sort - alcohol, drugs, children.

You then sold your house which apparently was yours before the marriage because you left the marriage with nothing. You petitioned for him to pay your Attorney fees but were denied?

How can this happen? I don’t understand it. That’s why I asked for an explanation.

Now you have a fairly large past-due child support balance and you want to know if you have to pay it (because your children are over 18) and if you can go to school so you don’t to pay it.

At 18 your children can decide where to live - they live with you now? With their father? What is their choice?

You protected one of your children from another one of your children? How did that factor into any of this?