[adam512]

Hi all, I've gotten pretty good insights ever since I found this site. Here's one that I am confused about. I was seeing a woman for the last two months. At three weeks, she told me she was in love with me which I then reciprocated. Last week, I felt that we were drifting apart and I finally asked her about it. Her response was she "I fell in love too quickly and don't know what I want. Falling in love again scares me": She said she was used to guys being nasty to her, and when we were together, she wasn't used to guys being so nice and attentive to her. So she said perhaps she may need to stay single for awhile and decide what she wants. Does this mean I've lost her forever or should I fight? I do care for this girl and she said she will always love me, but don't know what she wants. I'm in my early 40s and she is in her mid 30s.

[LadySam]

So slap her around a bit and she'll come to her senses.
Of course I am not serious, don't lay a finger on her.
I'm only one person but I'll give you my take on this because I can relate to her, although I can't relate to falling in love in three weeks.
Being treated poorly in past relationships myself I can tell you that she may in word be "confused".
Her self respect and dignity have no doubt been whittled away at by the jerks she was involved with.
So she may be thinking that is so strange that a man can be kind, caring attentive when it does happen.
If this is your only issue then I surely wouldn't give up on her, she just needs time to adjust to the fact that she can be treated this way and it is all right, and that is the way it should be.
Don't smother, that is very overwhelming, help her to regain that respect and dignity for self and I think you will both benefit.
Lay off the love stuff and work on a meaningful, healthy relationship.

Edit: Is it this woman? If it is I may have to rethink my answer. https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...on-679585.html

[Homegirl 50]

If this is the lady with the rape issue, leave her alone.
It seems she is not ready for a relationship, respect it and back off.

[jay-stud]

Keep fightig for her if u feel she is worth it but talk with her about it so both of iu know what yo expect and what's at the core of the problem

[joypulv]

'Used to guys being nasty to her' = a probable lifelong need for confrontation and abuse because that's what she grew up with and it's what she equates with love. Along with that goes a lack of self esteem, so she feels she isn't good enough for a nice man. The nicer and more attentive you are, the more unworthy she feels.
I can't speak for her. I'm guessing. But ask her if there is any truth to this. She may be aware of it and she may not.

[Mayra 091011]

She Needs A Bit Of Time To Figure Out Stuff That Doesn't Mean You Guys Are Drifting Apart But Keep Fighting For Her If You Really Like Her & Soon I Hope She Notices That You're the One She Wants To Be With : )