[f010244]

Hi,

So I met this guy online, he is a cop-detective to be specific (and I know they sometimes have crazy schedules).
We talked online a little and then started texting. He finally called and we set up our first date (Wednesday). The day we were to get together, he texted me 2 hrs before and said that his cousin was in an accident and he was going to the hospital to find out what happened. He immediately said "we definitely need to get together this week". I said: "no rush, if it happens this week that's great, if not next week is fine". The next day I sent him a text asking how his cousin was doing, he said she was doing well. He did not say anything about rescheduling at that time and I did not bring it up either.

So two days go by and no word from him, it's Friday night, so if he was trully planning on setting something up for this weekend, he should probably have contacted me by now, right?
What is an appropriate time to give a guy to contact me to reschedule the first date?
Should I understand that he is not interested anymore?

On one hand two days might be nothing if you factor in his job, his own detective agency, his 2 hr workout 3 times a week, and football twice a week... (there is more to his schedule).

On the other hand, we live in the times when communication should not be so hard, if he is still interested shouln't he have 5 seconds to text me.


Should I contact him? Isn't that going to look like I am chasing him?

Thanks in advance for any advise.

[teacherjenn4]

Are you sure this guy is who he says he is? I can't imagine any police officer meeting someone online for a date. With the risk of ruining his career, and with ongoing cases, it seems odd to me. Be careful!

[f010244]

I had a friend of mine (cop) check this guy out before anything, his job is legit. Officers can meet people online, just like any other place, and they have to be just as careful as anyone else. I am trying to be even more careful with this guy than with anybody else, given his profession.

[teacherjenn4]

I had a friend of mine (cop) check this guy out before anything, his job is legit. Officers can meet people online, just like any other place, and they have to be just as careful as anyone else. I am trying to be even more careful with this guy than with anybody else, given his profession.

Good. Now, decide if you want a guy with limited time for you. It's not an easy life, especially with a family. Anyway, to answer your question, I would wait for him. He cancelled you, so he should set the new date up.

[JudyKayTee]

I had a friend of mine (cop) check this guy out before anything, his job is legit. Officers can meet people online, just like any other place, and they have to be just as careful as anyone else. I am trying to be even more careful with this guy than with anybody else, given his profession.

Where is this? In my State he cannot be a working Police Officer AND own his own Detective Agency. I'm sure you can see the possible conflict.

And would I still be hanging around and waiting for his call? No.

What does "be even more careful ... given his profession" mean?

[maddy6]

Yes, if you contact him now you will look like you are chasing him. Since this was all online, he may have met someone else in the meantime and is no longer interested? I would wait it out and not get anxious. If he is interested you will hear from him again. Something truly could have happened to cause this delay. But you will look desperate if you try to contact him. Desperate is not something you want to present yourself as in any relationship. Sit tight and relax. If it was meant to be it will come to pass.

[Homegirl 50]

I would not contact him. He broke the date, let him contact you.
Are you sure this guy is not lying to you?

[teacherjenn4]

I would not contact him. He broke the date, let him contact you.
Are you sure this guy is not lying to you?

That was my exact feeling earlier. Most cops have to be very careful with whom they associate, and I cannot imagine them forming online relationships. Also, being a detective doesn't give you the time to own and work in an agency of your own. And, she already has been told he works out a certain number of days a week. Sounds like given his schedule, he can barely keep a date...

[JudyKayTee]

That was my exact feeling earlier. Most cops have to be very careful with whom they associate, and I cannot imagine them forming online relationships. Also, being a detective doesn't give you the time to own and work in an agency of your own. And, she already has been told he works out a certain number of days a week. Sounds like given his schedule, he can barely keep a date.....

It's more about a conflict of interest than the time - but I get the point.

I don't know the person who posted but I've dated Police Officers. They "run" you before they pick up the phone. I don't know if there's anything she didn't want him to know, didn't reveal, that he now knows.

Or else he's a player.

[Cat1864]

I was taking that he is a Police Detective rather than having two separate jobs. However, who the police friend checked out may not be the same person as the one she has been talking to on-line. It would not be difficult to make up a persona based on someone you get from a city/county police roster. It has happened before.

Also, even the job checks out it doesn't mean he isn't in a relationship and the cousin wasn't his girlfriend/wife.

I would live my life as though he wasn't involved. If he contacts you, get more information. If he doesn't, oh well.

Good luck.