[PlumNuts]

t's late at night and I know this is a long story but I'm going to pour out my heart and feelings. Me and my GF have been dating for about a year. 8 months ago we decided to become serious and delete all our social networks and stop talking to people she has always bossed me around and kind of had me on a short leash but I loved her so I put up with it. I then realized a month ago she was on some weird social network site talking and flirting with other guys and saying she was single. I broke up with her and after 3 weeks she told me that she had been talking to girls on that site because she was just curious what it was like. She also told me she met up with this girl and they never did anything and her name was Kayla but her real name was acually jade. By some strange miracle it happened to be a friend of mine which I hooked up with after the breakup to ease the pain and I was talking too. The next day jade asked if I was seeing anyone because she saw a picture of me and another girl on some chatting app. That's when she told me everything that happened and only them 2 knew about it. She told me they just met up at her house for 30 min and it was awkward and that my ex left afterwards and nothing happened. The thing that really bothers me is jade says that my ex was talking about some guy who she was in love with and missed having sex with because it made her feel good that has gauges and tattoos which does not describe me. When I confronted my ex about it she said they met up before we started dating even though it was only a month ago. She also lied about her name. She also didn't want to admit that one of my guy friends picked her up she made it seem like it was her friend I don't mind though I really trust this guy he just didn't know what was happening. However when I would tell her these things she would say no and then after a while agree and act like if she forgot. However my ex does not agree on the part of the tattoos and gauges she just said it's bs and if she said something it was probably about me. She also didn't agree that she asked jade to sneak out at night which is bull because she said she never sneaked out or sneaked anyone in . She also says that jade was lying when she told me that my ex asked her after she left why they didn't kiss through text. That doesn't seem right though because my ex is the one that texted my friend to come pick her up asap. It just makes me wonder what other things she has done, even though she admitted to meeting up with this girl even though she lied about the situation before I found out from jade. I honestly don't know if I should believe my ex which I could tell really did love me everyone saw it we were always together however I left out of town and she got jealous and she said I didn't give her attention and left her alone. However my ex lied to me so many times, she's said crying like I'm telling you everything blah blah blah like 3 times already! But I'm not sure if jade is making this story up about the guy and everything because she really likes me and wants to go out with me. However, jade seems like an honest down to earth girl and her story is always consistent but that doesn't mean I trust her. I'm just not sure what to do I really miss my ex I want her back I'm in so much pain. I don't know who I should believe. She told me she wanted to change so she deleted all her sites and I even texted her through the 3 weeks we were broken up off different numbers and she wouldn't text back and she didn't. She treated me well and nobody expected this out of her. I would take her back if I never knew about the part that she was in love with another guy but I'm not sure if jade is making it up. When I broke up with her 3 weeks ago she ignored me a week so I could cool down but we haven't texted in 5 days and it's making me go crazy. I have a feeling she never physically cheated on me, she was just curious on full filling her fanasy's. But it just really bothers me what she did.

[PlumNuts]

Should I message her? Do I wait? What do I do. I also have a lot of things bottled up inside that I want to tell her.

[Homegirl 50]

How old are the two of you?
I don't know why you even want her back. She bosses you around and keeps you on a short lease then gets on websites as a single person.
You want yo go back to that?
If you want to that, why?

[PlumNuts]

We have been together almost a year. I've had a longer relationship but I just felt something I've never felt with anyone. We were together literally everyday almost every hour. Everyone thought we were perfect for each other. No one expected it out of her when I told her friends and people they said it was probably a rumor until I told them that she told me. The reason she had me on a short leash was because I was talked to my ex which now lives 500 miles away because she got in a serious accident. She did treat me well and was always there for me and always gave me love and time. So then she got mad and we decided to delete everything and stop talking to people. We are both 18 and we were planning on moving out together and share an apartment in the near future.

[PlumNuts]

I'm not going to lie. I usually never showed my feelings to her. She would always ask me too but its hard for me. She said she just went on it for attention and because I hurt her when I talked to my ex. She says I left her alone and left on vacation that's why she met up with her.

[Homegirl 50]

I'm not going to lie. I usually never showed my feelings to her. She would always ask me too but its hard for me. She said she just went on it for attention and because I hurt her when I talked to my ex. She says I left her alone and left on vacation thats why she met up with her.

That is a sorry excuse. She did it because she wanted to. Spending every hour of every day with someone it a bit much. You two need a break. That is just too intense and there is no excuse for keeping someone on a tight leash.
But you will do what you want because you are obviously still stuck on her and are sounding desperate.
If you broke up with her and she has not tried to get in touch with her, to me that says she does not want to get in touch with you. I would leave her alone. There is too much stuff here to indicate she was cheating.

[PlumNuts]

I know when we broke up she ignored me a week till she came crying to me and begging for 2 weeks straight until I told her this we haven't spoke a word. Its been 5 days. I feel like talking to her to tell her how I feel. I feel like everythings bottled up.

[Homegirl 50]

You mean tell her you want her back?
I don't understand that at all.
I would imagine if you contacted her you would find that she has probably moved on to someone else.
Leave this alone. It's really for your own good.

[PlumNuts]

Thanks a lot you don't know how much I appreciate your advice. I just want to know why she did this. How she could do something. Tell her how I feel about it. She still hasn't put up her social network sites and everyone been telling me she's just with her friends. I do know it's not good for me. I talked to my ex 2 months into our relationship without telling her ever sense then she turned control live. Is it because I did wrong?

[Homegirl 50]

It is because you allowed her to control you out of guilt. She is not your mother to punish you when you do wrong. No person should control another.
She lies and she cheats. That is her character. You need to forget about her.