[Help333]

My daughter which is 5, her father is re-married. I just got some disturbing news. My daughter told me that when her and her 3 year old brother go to bed(they sleep in the room with the dad and stepmom) that she puts her head on the bed and it's bouncing and daddy and my stepmom are doing bad things. She says it happens all the time. What to do?? I have already talk to her dad but he said doesn't happen, but I know my daughter and know if she is lying.

[makpaker23]

WOW!! Is there a reason that the kids aren't in their own room? And if he denies it I would keep track of every time that your daughter tells you that this is going on and confront him with it. Not only can this scar her but if she says something to someone other than you CPS couldv very well get invovled

[JudyKayTee]

My daughter which is 5, her father is re-married. I just got some disturbing news. My daughter told me that when her and her 3 year old brother go to bed(they sleep in the room with the dad and stepmom) that she puts her head on the bed and it's bouncing and daddy and my stepmom are doing bad things. She says it happens all the time. What to do??? I have already talk to her dad but he said doesn't happen, but I no my daughter and no if she is lying.

Go back to Court, ask that someone who is trained in such matters speak to your daughter and determine the truth. It might be necessary to stop overnight visits or limit him to supervised visitation.

[JudyKayTee]

WOW!!!! Is there a reason that the kids aren't in their own room? And if he denies it I would keep track of everytime that your daughter tells you that this is going on and confront him with it. Not only can this scar her but if she says something to someone other than you CPS couldv very well get invovled

He possibly doesn't have a spare room - not excusing the behavior but it's a possibility.

I would not give this more time while "tracking" it. I'd make my move now - she needs to protect her children in the event this is true.

[Fr_Chuck]

First the idea that it is "bad things" worries me, since a husband and wife having sex is not bad. And next where is this, since in some cultures, parents have sex after kids go to sleep and homes are small and often children in the room.

I will not judge all things by my values, since in a world view issue, this happens regularly in some places.

[ScottGem]

The question is not whether it occurred or no but what do you want to do about it? Are you asking whether its OK? This was posted in Adult Sexuality after all. Or are you asking whether its grounds to change the visitation (in which case we will move to Family Law where it belongs).

If it were me, I would immediately file for a suspension of overnight visits until the truth can be determined.

I agree that not having a spare room so having the children sleep in the same room is not a problem. But engaging in sex in the same room IS.

[f010244]

Take it to court or social worker, who can talk to the kids and decide if it's safe and appropriate for them to go by daddys house.

[JudyKayTee]

Take it to court or social worker, who can talk to the kids and decide if it's safe and appropriate for them to go by daddys house.

How would you "take it to Court"?

[Cat1864]

What does the five year old consider 'bad things'? If all she is doing is feeling a bed move and not hearing or seeing anything, then be very careful that you (or other well-meaning adults) aren't placing thoughts in her mind that may not be there.

The adult mind automatically goes toward sex, but did the five year old mind? What have you explained to her about sex?

Talk to your ex about being concerned about what the child has said. DO NOT make accusations or put him on the defensive. Mention that it might be an idea to be careful.

Remember that how you react will probably affect your child a lot more than anything she has 'felt' (the bed bouncing), heard or seen.