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Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 09:10 AM

So I'm really sad and hurt that my husband gets so excited by other women that he has to go home and jack off in the bathroom. I saw him him doing it and he actually tried to hide it. Is it not enough that he doesn't do anything special for or with me and now he has to start this? I'm so disappointed. I'm obviously not enough for him anymore. : (

JudyKayTee · Aug 1, 2012, 10:28 AM

Originally Posted by Itsover

So I'm really sad and hurt that my husband gets so excited by other women that he has to go home and jack off in the bathroom. I saw him him doing it and he actually tried to hide it. Is it not enough that he doesn't do anything special for or with me and now he has to start this?? I'm so disappointed. I'm obviously not enough for him anymore. : (

He's your husband - have you asked him?

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 10:35 AM

Yes I asked him and he said he was "relieving stress". Right. And when you're supposed to be spending time with someone you love and never make time for them otherwise I'm supposed to believe that he wasn't in there fantasizing? Whatever. That hurt

JudyKayTee · Aug 1, 2012, 10:36 AM

Originally Posted by Itsover

Yes I asked him and he said he was "relieving stress". Right. And when you're supposed to be spending time with someone you love and never make time for them otherwise I'm supposed to believe that he wasn't in there fantasizing? Whatever. That hurt

I'd be hurt, too - I'd be tempted to de-stress him with harsh words.

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 10:43 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'd be hurt, too - I'd be tempted to de-stress him with harsh words.

I was more than tempted. I said my fair share. I feel really used considering he's probably fantasizing when he's having sex with me too.

theodosia123 · Aug 1, 2012, 10:44 AM

He loves you, but he is a man and most men will fantasize over other woman.
Yes it hurt because you caught him, and knew he was thinking of a woman he saw on the beach. But it would hurt a lot more if it was a woman you caught him with in your bed.
Most men have porn mags and jack off. Tak to him about it.

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 11:10 AM

Originally Posted by theodosia123

he loves you, but he is a man and most men will fantasize over other woman.
yes it hurt because you caught him, and knew he was thinking of a woman he saw on the beach. But it would hurt a lot more if it was a woman you caught him with in your bed.
most men have porn mags and jack off. Tak to him about it.

It's not that he jacked off it's that we set time aside to spend together and instead of spending time with me he had to use that time masturbating to thoughts of other women. I told him I'm not stupid I know you do that buy how can you do that when we have so little time together? I'm crushed by that.

Synnen · Aug 1, 2012, 11:50 AM

So based on your user name, you already think it's over.

What kind of advice are you hoping to get here?

JudyKayTee · Aug 1, 2012, 12:22 PM

Originally Posted by theodosia123

he loves you, but he is a man and most men will fantasize over other woman.
yes it hurt because you caught him, and knew he was thinking of a woman he saw on the beach. But it would hurt a lot more if it was a woman you caught him with in your bed.
most men have porn mags and jack off. Tak to him about it.

How does she know what he was thinking of when he was masturbating? There is NO connection between masturbating and finding a woman in his bed - masturbating is pure fantasy.

"Most men" have porn mags and "jack off." Where did you read that?

theodosia123 · Aug 1, 2012, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by Itsover

It's not that he jacked off its that we set time aside to spend together and instead of spending time with me he had to use that time masturbating to thoughts of other women. I told him I'm not stupid I know you do that buy how can you do that when we have so little time together?? I'm crushed by that.

I would be crushed too, I do hope you can work things out togetter.

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

So based on your user name, you already think it's over.

What kind of advice are you hoping to get here?

I guess WHY?

Wondergirl · Aug 1, 2012, 02:31 PM

I'm still wondering how you know what he is thinking about when he masturbates.

Synnen · Aug 1, 2012, 02:58 PM

I think that there are OTHER issues in your marriage other than just this one incident that are bothering you.

If you were confident in your relationship, this wouldn't even be an issue.

So... what ELSE is going on?

Fr_Chuck · Aug 1, 2012, 03:08 PM

Yes, men masturbate normally every couple days all the time, so if you did not know he was doing it, wake up. This is what men do. So I agree, if this is all that there is, you are seriously over reacting ( big time)

So if there is really an issue what is your real issue

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 04:10 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

I think that there are OTHER issues in your marriage other than just this one incident that are bothering you.

If you were confident in your relationship, this wouldn't even be an issue.

So...what ELSE is going on?

Maybe that in 15 years he has done nothing special for our anniversary or that he hardly ever wants to do anything with me. As I said I know men masturbate but it's messed up to do it when you are supposed to be spending the time that you never spend with your wife in the first place

Wondergirl · Aug 1, 2012, 04:14 PM

What do you like about him?

Itsover · Aug 1, 2012, 04:24 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

What do you like about him?

Not much anymore. He doesn't make anytime for me or the kids, he puts his job before everything, he doesn't get ME off, he doesn't treat me special even though I am constantly running and doing for everyone else. And before anyone asks I take excellent care of myself.

Synnen · Aug 1, 2012, 04:26 PM

I think it's time, then to see a marriage counselor. By yourself if he won't go with you.

And probably a divorce lawyer as well.

smearcase · Aug 1, 2012, 05:06 PM

Now we are getting the real story. If the present problem was the straw that broke the camlel's back, you were just looking for that straw till you found it.

Is there even more to this story? What if you just caught him thinking about other women? Would that have done it too?

Maaybe he was thinking about you.

Itsover · Aug 2, 2012, 08:35 AM

Originally Posted by smearcase

Now we are getting the real story. If the present problem was the straw that broke the camlel's back, you were just looking for that straw till you found it.

Is there even more to this story? What if you just caught him thinking about other women? Would that have done it too?

Maaybe he was thinking about you.

I really don't think I needed to do much looking after my needs have been neglected emotionally and physically for so long.

Maaaaybe he was thinking about me? Hmmm weird since I was in the other room.

Doesn't matter, we had a long talk about things last night and actually I don't think I overreacted considering I've read other posts on here with women boo hooing over discovering that their men beat off and no, I don't know what he was thinking about but I'm also not beyond making assumptions if he hid his hard on. Why would he hide it? I've seen his hard on before obviously so he was hiding because I the thoughts in his mind which is what made me think it wasn't about me.