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taffy2k · Mar 13, 2007, 04:55 AM

Hi all,I am 30 yrs of age, been married for 6 yrs and I am very worried, I love my wife very much and I know that I am hurting her by feeling and saying the things I do, I think it started last year when I got the sick in the stomach feeling if I didn't know who my wife was talking to and her texting all the time, I have gone as far as checking all her text messages and even looking at her messenger history after she has talked to her sister, I think I am just looking for something that isn't there and that I don't want to happen, this is my worst fear (loosing my wife and family) I know I have to let her do things and not puff and pant every time she says she is going out or is late coming back, I have had a lot of personal things (lost my mother, my father and my grandfather then got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (which my father had) happen to me over the last 2 years and I have been to see a psychologist once but she just asked a lot of questions and then couldn't get me back in to see her, I know I need help and my wife is willing to go see a marriage counselor with me me because as she tells me she just wants me to get better, so I just need some help if I can get it maybe I'm depressed I don't know but I just want these feelings to stop.

valinors_sorrow · Mar 13, 2007, 07:25 AM

Since you have identified yourself as the source of the problem and you appear pretty stuck in it by yourself... what about again seeking some outside help for it, only this time stick with it for a while?

One session doesn't count for anything -- surely you realise that now, don't you? It takes a few sessions (I'd give it ten sessions before making any judegements about it) and yes, lots of answering questions or providing information in order for the professional to be able to help. If you don't like who you saw before, try someone else. Its important to select someone you can feel rapport with and who you trust has the credentials to help.

There is only a limited amount of support we can offer on the internet and its not anything near as potent for a solution as seeing someone. If you don't seek professional help, how else is this to be fixed?

talaniman · Mar 13, 2007, 08:16 AM

You should seek the help of a professional, not the opinions of amateurs.

ballengerb1 · Mar 13, 2007, 08:29 AM

I agree with talaniman but we amateurs should reinforce the need for professional care since you reached out to us first. You appear to be very depressed and there are millions of people out like you who are receiving help. Depression can often be an imbalance in your body chemistry and a physician can help with meds. A Psychologist or psychiatrist can take it from there but it will be months if not a year before you feel better.

Wildcat21 · Mar 13, 2007, 08:34 AM

I do adivise professional help. Your insecurities will only push her away.

Check this website out TODAY!! For some answers: AskMen.com - Free Men's Online Magazine - read every article on relaitonships and the dating ones.

You got to learn to grow some balls and become a man. Something's in life oyu can not control. Let it go.

taffy2k · Mar 14, 2007, 04:33 AM

Thank you guys for your help we have booked in with a better psycologist, I did go see the other psycologist twice but she made it very hard to see herand I didn't feel comfortable with but the new lady I have booked in with seems to be OK and is much easier to make an appointment with, no matter how long it takes I will keep seeing her until I can learn to control this, and maybe she can help sort out the other problems I have, once again thank you.Gaz