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    Shylock7677's Avatar
    Shylock7677 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 27, 2012, 06:25 PM
    Can a dr tear your hymen during a pap?
    I am a 35 year old virigin. I believe it is very important that your husband breaks your hymen on your wedding night as a blood covenant between you, your husband and the Lord. Recently, I went in for my annual papsmear and did not state that I was a virgin. It should have been noted in my chart as I have been to that clinic for many years. Upon speculum insertion it hurt a lot and there was a lot of bleeding. The doctor looked at me and said you've never had intercourse have you? Then the doctor told me that he may have possibly torn my hymen, but when he did the manual exam it was still intact. What exactly does this mean. Do I still have a hymen? If so, will I still have bleeding when I have sex on my wedding night? What can I do when I go for any annual exam to keep my hymen intact and protected?

    Very concerned. Please help!
    BethVader's Avatar
    BethVader Posts: 92, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Jul 28, 2012, 02:05 AM
    You are placing way too much emphasis on a small piece of flesh that most women tear naturally before sex ever takes place. Hymens can torn riding a bike, gymnastics, physical exams, falling off a horse, or inserting a tampon. Most virgins do not still have an intact hymen and it doesn't make them any less pure in the eyes of the Lord.
    Do not stress. Your wedding night is supposed to be a joyous occasion, not a point of internal contention for you. And most likely you will bleed a little anyway your first time, just because tissue is being stretched further than it ever has been before.
    Good luck to you and congratulations on your marriage. Let this hymen issue be a lesson that in marriage, the intentions of your heart are more important strict social mores.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Jul 30, 2012, 12:09 AM
    Just because your hymen is intact does not mean that you will bleed the fist time you have sex. That is a misconception. Many women do not bleed their first time, even if their hymen is intact when they have sex.

    Did your doctor break your hymen? It's possible. He stated that it was still intact, so I guess it depends on how much you trust him. Does it matter? No. If you're counting on blood on your wedding night, hymen or not, you may be disappointed.

    It's archaic that some people still put so much importance on blood when losing or taking virginity. If you want to bleed, poke yourself with a sharp object.

    Good luck.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Jul 30, 2012, 04:41 AM
    Seldom would someone 35 that lives a normal life still have a hymen intact, just exercise, daily life activities can cause.

    And to be frank, "blood covenant " I was assuming a Islamic religion but then you said "Lord" which would normally be a Christian faith, since blood covenant with husband at marrige is not part of Christian faith, I am lost at what religion this is.

    But many women do not bleed at the first time, so you are building and expecting something that is more than likely not going to happen anyway.
    Renie1974's Avatar
    Renie1974 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Apr 24, 2013, 05:02 PM
    Hi! I'm 39 and "extra virgin." Never been on a date, had a boyfriend, kissed, cuddled, or had sex. I also do not have my hymen. I broke it at age 10 when I was running on the icy playground wearing dress shoes. I slipped, fell, and landed in a perfect vertical split, flat on the ground, like a cheerleader would do. Felt a sharp stab of pain between my legs and bled a bit. My mom thought it was my first period, but when I told her what happened on the playground, she knew it wasn't my period. Most women have normal hymens that break very easily under various circumstances. Some women have elastic, bendable hymens, and when intercourse occurs, the penis glides over it (savvy prostitutes make a fortune with this, having their "first time" several times a night.) Then, there are women who have very thick hymens that can't be broken, and they must go to the doctor and have a hymenotomy (a crossswise incision in the hymen.) So much emphasis is placed on this little piece of tissue, but the fact remains that only a man's penis can take away virginity. Congrats on your wedding, and I hope this helps. By the way, I got the hymen info from the book "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid To Ask.)" It's from the 60's, but still relevant today. :)

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