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    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Jun 20, 2012, 05:19 AM
    Started to fall in love with the guy who helps me with my crush
    Everything started to get complicated last Friday. I have a crush on this guy since December and in February I told him everything on FB (I know it's lame, but I am really shy), but he just continued smiling and staring at me, without ever talking to me about it. Then on Friday at a party I met this guy whom I told about my crush, as he was attending that party too and he again kept smiling and staring at me. This guy I met on Friday told me that I should definitely talk to my crush about my feelings and told me that I am beautiful and he sure likes me. Then he agreed to come help me on Monday when I knew I would see my crush again.
    On Monday he came, but my crush wasn't there so we just started to hang out a while and he was a real gentleman, telling me I'm beautiful all the time. At the end he asked for my number and wanted to drive me home, but I didn't want to do this so he gave me his number and told me I could call him anytime.
    I felt guilty at home so I texted him and he seemed really happy to have my number. We then texted for hours and I felt happier than ever before. Next day, he told me that he wrote to my crush on Facebook to tell him to meet me on Thursday. He said he would come too, to support me. Then my crush acted like he didn't know me and well, this other guy said he probably won't come on Thursday, but he will still be there to meet me. He even told me his FB password, so that I could see the conversation.
    So tomorrow I am going to meet this other guy, who has been so nice and maybe also my crush. The problem is that I think I now like this other guy more than my crush. He always tells me compliments and does everything I ask him too. My crush knows that I like him since February, but keeps acting like he doesn't know me. I really don't know what to do, I am desperate, please help me with some advice! Should I tell this other guy that I started to have feelings for him or should I just wait and still talk to my crush?
    cyber_i9's Avatar
    cyber_i9 Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jun 20, 2012, 07:54 AM
    This sort of thing even happened with me. The reason behind this is you will begin to like the person who is supporting you and helping so it is a natural tendency to have a crush on someone who is with you, supporting you.
    I think you should go to the person who has been helping you and tell him everything after all he appreciates you.
    Why wait for the crush person, he is not intrested in you that is why he acts strangely,
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #3

    Jun 20, 2012, 09:04 AM
    How old are you?
    This other guy sounds nice but I'm wondering why( if you just met him) he is doing all of this stuff for you. How old is he?
    Defiantly forget about the first guy, he is obviously not interested in you. Be careful with this second guy. You are moving from one to another awful fast.
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    Jun 20, 2012, 01:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    How old are you?
    This other guy sounds nice but I'm wondering why( if you just met him) he is doing all of this stuff for you. How old is he?
    Defiantly forget about the first guy, he is obviously not interested in you. Be careful with this second guy. You are moving from one to another awful fast.
    I am 16, this guy I met on Friday is 16 too and my crush is 17. To be honest, there has never been a person before to be so nice to me after such a short time.

    Quote Originally Posted by cyber_i9 View Post
    this sort of thing even happened with me. the reason behind this is you will begin to like the person who is supporting you and helping so it is a natural tendancy to have a crush on someone who is with you, supporting you.
    I think you should go to the person who has been helping you and tell him everything after all he appreciates you.
    Why wait for the crush person, he is not intrested in you that is why he acts strangely,
    I really hope that this will be so simple, thanks for your advice.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #5

    Jun 20, 2012, 01:42 PM
    Well you certainly dropped the first crush a notch quickly.
    Just be careful, don't rush in to anything. He is not a knight in shining armor, he's a 16 year old.
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #6

    Jun 20, 2012, 02:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Homegirl 50 View Post
    Well you certainly dropped the first crush a notch quickly.
    Just be careful, don't rush in to anything. He is not a knight in shining armor, he's a 16 year old.
    I had feelings for my crush since December and since February I told him how I felt about it. He then did absolutely nothing besides smiling and staring at me. It was quite obvious for me that he doesn't like me, but I'm the kind of person who (unfortunately) sees hope in everything. When Ifirst met thisguy, I had no interest whatsoever in him, in fact I have to admit I just wanted to make my crush jealous. But then I started to develop feelings for him, he is always so protective and really intelligent. Thanks for your advice, I know he is only 16, but I am too. I will still wait a couple of weeks and see what will develop. Thanks!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #7

    Jun 20, 2012, 02:50 PM
    Good luck
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    Jun 21, 2012, 02:53 PM
    Guy says he loves me but doesn't want relationships?
    I met him on Friday at a party but since then we've been texting and meeting almost everyday. Today was a special meeting though. First we ran into my old crush, who was then really mean to me and made me angry. Then this guy came to me and told me I should smile and forget about my old crush. Then I told him that I forgot him already, but that this wasn't the problem now, so he asked me what was wrong. We stayed about a half an hour while he kept asking me what was wrong and I didn't know how to tell him that I started to like him more than just a friend. After some time I just told him that I will say sth to him and then I will go home. So I told him that I dob't have a crush on this other guy anymore but I started to like him more than a friend. Then I wanted to go, but he just said "yuchu", which I found quite strange. Then I turned around and he just asked "Why?" and I told him I wanted to hug him. He hugged me and told me "It's alright. But I'll remain alone." the thing is this guy told me several times that because of bad experienxes he just doesn't want to date anymore. Still I wanted to tell him, he told me every two minutes that I am beautiful and is always nice and does everything he can for me. But then it was really strange for him to say he will stay alone. After that I went home and texted him telling him I was sorry and I won't disturb him again. Then e was really sweet and told me it wasn't a big deal and it was nice that I liked him, I shouldn't think about it so much. He said he wants to see me again on Monday. I really don't know what to do, because he clearly told me that he doesn't want a relationship, even though he loves me (he wrote that to me). I'm not sure I can just stay friends with him without getting crazy. A friend who's been dating for a year told me her boyfriend also said the same thing before they started datinf, but then he asked her out. Should I tell him I can't stay just friends or should I just continue seeing him and hope one day he'll be ready?
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    Jun 22, 2012, 03:20 AM
    What would you do if you were me?
    I told my crush, who is also one of my best friends, that I started to like him more than a friend. It wasn't easy, but I just had to tell him. He is one of the nicest guys I've ever met and he always helps me in everything and gives the best advice.
    I did expect him to like me too, as he told me before that he felt attracted to me.
    I am a very shy person, so I told him I had to say something and then I would go immediately. So after I told him, I started to go away and I heard him saying "Yeah!" and I found it quite strange, so I turned around and went back to him. He asked "Why?"and I just said "I don't know", because I started to fall in love with him, even though I know he doesn't want any relationships. He hugged me and he told me "It's ok. But I'll remain single". And I just said "I know" and we just hugged for a long time. I told him it was really nice to meet him and he said we will definitely meet again and that he will come to see me again next week.
    We are both 16 and I know that we are still young, but I've never liked a guy as uch as I like him now.
    After I left, I texted him to tell him that I was sorry and he was really nice and supportive, he didn't talk about the fact that he doesn't want a relationship, but about how beautiful he thinks I am.
    I feel really confused and I don't want to lose him as a friend, but I'm not sure that I am able to "stay just friends". I don't want to push him in a relationship, as he just told me thousand times before he doesn't want one, to any kind of girl, but I'm afraid staying friends would hurt me a lot. I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to hurt me and he is not lying, he told me a lot of times that I am beautiful and that he feels attracted to m. I don't want to lose him as a friend, he is one of the most supportive people I know, but I am really confused about how we can still talk about random things, when he knows I fell in love with him.
    Did anyone of you had experience with such things? If so, what did you do? Or what would you do if you were me?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #10

    Jun 22, 2012, 03:52 AM
    Staying friends with him is going to be about 10 times harder now that you have developed feelings for him. You let your attraction take over your admiration, and decided not to love him as a friend anymore, but as a partner.

    I'll be honest with you, your friendship with him will be harder to keep, not saying it's impossible, just harder. Especially if he does develop feelings and likes you back. There's not much else you can do, because now he knows, and you can't take that back.

    Best of luck!
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #11

    Jun 22, 2012, 11:05 AM
    If being just friends with him bothers you so much, stop spending so much time with him.
    Now that you have told him how you feel and you know he does not want a relationship, don't bother him about it anymore.
    I think that crush will eventually fade, but stay away from him for a while in the meantime. You don't even need to mention it to him, just slowly back off.
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    Jun 26, 2012, 04:43 AM
    Should I tell him about it or not?
    My crush asked me to be his girlfriend yesterday. I really liked him a lot and I was very happy when he asked and I said yes. But then when he wanted to kiss me I suddenly felt really strange and told him I'm not ready for a kiss yet. He said it's OK and that he would wait, but he kept talking about it and asking me what was wrong, but I couldn't really explain it. It's like the moment he tried to kiss me I stopped being attracted to him. He now tells me he loves me (we've only been a couple for a day!) and he texts and calls me the whole time, but I just am not so sure that I am attracted to him anymore. I've only known him for a week when he asked me out and I think we still have to get to know each other, but his feelings about me are a lot stronger that my feelings about him.
    Why did I suddenly stop wanting him when he tried to kiss me? And should I explain it all to him or not?
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #13

    Jun 26, 2012, 07:47 AM
    You've been going out for a very short period, the less time the easier it will be for you both to get over one another.

    He was exactly what you thought he was, a crush, and a crush is all he'll be. You jumped into it too quickly and you quickly realized how you really feel about him.

    Dump him, tell him you don't feel the same about him, and that you moved too quickly. Forget about each other and move on.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
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    #14

    Jun 26, 2012, 09:19 AM
    Is this your original crush or the guy who helped you with your crush? You move from one guy to another pretty fast. I doubt this guy loves you, he does not even know you. Just tell him you are not feeling him and break it off. The sooner the better.
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #15

    Jul 23, 2012, 02:07 PM
    How can I fix it?
    Yesterday I was at a party with some friends. While I was at the toilet, they thought it would be funny to write to my boyfriend from my phone. So they sent him a sms saying I wanted to break up with him. When I came back, my (now ex-) boyfriend had already changed his relationship status on Facebook ad deleted the photos with us. Since then me and my friends try to convince him that this really happened and that I didn't want to break up with him.
    All he said was "stop judging yourself. I am single and I will stay like this." We have been together for only a month, but it was a perfect time. He was also my best-friend. I am aware of the fact that I shouldn't have left my phone with my friends, but is this really something I can't fix anymore? I can understand he is hurt, but I really don't want to lose him!
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #16

    Jul 23, 2012, 02:11 PM
    Don't you talk to him? CALL? SMS is so impersonal!
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #17

    Jul 23, 2012, 02:47 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ma0641 View Post
    Don't you talk to him? CALL? SMS is so impersonal!
    I did try to call him, but he never picks up! There is nothing else I can do besides writing to him...
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,675, Reputation: 1012
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    #18

    Jul 23, 2012, 05:25 PM
    Hope you left a message explaining
    Ramonaaa's Avatar
    Ramonaaa Posts: 11, Reputation: 2
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    #19

    Jul 24, 2012, 02:45 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ma0641 View Post
    Hope you left a message explaining
    of course I did...
    chrisbo147's Avatar
    chrisbo147 Posts: 20, Reputation: 2
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    #20

    Jul 24, 2012, 04:02 AM
    Mates don't do that to be honest... if my mates did that I would be quite pi**ed off if you really want him back send him a message on your phone or Facebook seeing if he will meet up and give you a chance

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