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thehapyarny · Jul 21, 2012, 03:01 PM

Okay, so I recently met a new girl at the work and it seemed like we were getting along. However, I have a very sarcastic/erratic personality and sometimes I feel people don't get me (which is fair enough), so a group of us were at lunch and all of a sudden the conversation took a bit of a dark turn which led to her saying she feels "scared" when I said certain comments. I generally make silly sarcastic comments like "oh THATS why you don't have a boyfriend" or "Seeing your pretty little face has brightened up my day" so in my opinion its nothing explicit, derogatory or intentionally offensive (I mean I talk to my sisters the same way) but this girl has really taken it the wrong way with her saying that and "Wouldn't wanna meet you on a dark night". I felt horrible when I was told that. After this I immediately apologized and explained that this is just my character, that I wasn't meaning to offend. Now however there is a bit of an atmosphere and I don't know whether to just drop the issue or ask her about it?

julierayner11 · Jul 21, 2012, 04:09 PM

I think you should apologise to her again and explain to her how the situation is making you feel, I'm sure she feels the same way. Explain to her that you don't want there to be any tension between the 2 of you and ask if you can put it behind you and start afresh. You know how she feels about the comments you make or the things you say so just make an extra effort not to be that way around her. I feel if you ignore the situation then it will only get worse. Hope this helps.

thehapyarny · Jul 21, 2012, 04:13 PM

I was thinking something like that. The start afresh is a good idea I didn't think of that, thank you. Like I said imo the comments weren't offensive and I'm not after a date or anything lol I thought I was just being friendly/silly like I am around all the girls at work (I'm 20 and I'm talking about girls from aged 18-60). Just a bit of a laugh. Anyone else please offer advice? This issue is worrying me.

kawaisoni · Jul 21, 2012, 06:00 PM

Just ignore the issue and do not make it seem like it is bothering you, you are only over thinking it. Maybe the girl already got over it, but you are the only one feeling uncomfortable about it.

thehapyarny · Jul 22, 2012, 04:37 AM

I hope that's the case. Like I said I don't want to get with the girl or anything I just don't need the extra agro at work.

kawaisoni · Jul 22, 2012, 08:49 PM

The only thing at this moment is act confident and be yourself. People will notice when you start to change and will figure it out it was because of that incident or comment with the girl. Don't let it get to you. You already apologized once. I am pretty sure she knows you are sorry. People get so caught up with first impressions. It takes a little bit of patience to know a person and start making judgement. She was obviously hurt by your comment and tried to hurt you back. So just leave it as even.