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Cool girl 54 · Jul 16, 2012, 09:27 PM

Today my boyfriend called me and invited me to his house he said that his parents are out of town and we could have a whole night he said that I will never forget it... I never had sex and I'm afraid too what should I do!?

ali18ninja · Jul 16, 2012, 09:51 PM

Well first, don't have sex just because he wants to. You have to be certain that you want to. If you love him enough and see yourself with him for a long long time and you two have had a great relationship then you should as long as you're completely comfortable. Now if it's your first time it's natural to be afraid. Sex is something very intimate and scary at first. It'll be a little painful but before you have sex, tell your partner that you're a virgin if he doesn't already know. Talk to him during sex as well. Tell him what hurts, when to stop, what feels good, etc.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 16, 2012, 09:53 PM

Yes you may never forget, the pain to start with , the first time which is special. And since you most likely are not on birth control, perhaps a baby to raise for next 18 plus years.

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2012, 03:40 AM

NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are fully prepared to have a child.

How old are you? How old is your boyfriend? What would your parents say if they knew you were going to his house with his parents away?

Cool girl 54 · Jul 17, 2012, 08:38 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

NO ONE should engage in sexual intercourse unless they are fully prepared to have a child.

How old are you? How old is your boyfriend? What would your parents say if they knew you were going to his house
with his parents away?

Well my answer is I'm 17 my boyfriend. Is 19 my parents already know that I'm going to his. House so that's wasn't a good advice!

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2012, 09:48 AM

The part about your parents wasn't advice it was a question. So your parents know you are going to his house AND that his parents will be away and they trust him enough to allow this? I suspect you are not telling the whole story here.

But the bottom line is you need to set the limits. You tell him that you are not ready to have a child so you aren't ready for sex. And if that doesn't suit him then maybe you shouldn't come over. Then you need to stick to your guns and keep your clothes on and your legs closed.

Cool girl 54 · Jul 17, 2012, 03:23 PM

Today my boyfriend had sex with me for two hours.then he went to the shower first,I was looking at the pics on his phone and then there was a text message from his old girlfriend...

She sent him a PC of her being naked!! then I looked at all the stuff they both sent to each other it was his s pics and her boobs!! I was really mad but I was afrade to loose him... then I went home crying not mowing what to do... when he called I never took the phone because I didn't know what to do!

Can you please help me!!
I'm really afrade to loose him and I'm really forgiving

Wondergirl · Jul 17, 2012, 03:33 PM

He first has to ask for forgiveness. He is leading a double life. Are you willing to allow that to happen? And if you confront him, he will become more secretive.

Alty · Jul 17, 2012, 03:40 PM

You can either accept that he's sleeping around, continue to say nothing and let him have both you and this other girl, or you can speak up.

Why are you afraid of losing him? He doesn't seem worth keeping.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/mobile...me-683962.html

Looks like it's too late, and now you found out he's cheating too.

ScottGem · Jul 17, 2012, 04:42 PM

I've merged your two threads.

You silly, silly girl. You came here for advice and got very good advice. What did you do, you ignored it and now see where its gotten you. You already lost him. All he was interested in was getting into your pants. Now that he's made his conquest he's going to move on.

Show some self respect and dump this loser. He is not worth it. You also need to understand why you have so little self esteem. And let's pray this incident doesn't result in a baby.

ali18ninja · Jul 18, 2012, 02:10 AM

Unfortunately, he took your virginity and no amount of forgiveness or hatred towards him will ever bring it back. Sex is nothing to be played around with. It seems you had sex for the right reasons but he didn't. It's clearly evident that he is lustful and not faithful. He's 19 years old and you're 17. He got what he wanted and continues to get what he wants from his ex. He may even be having sex with her on the side. You're young but I'm sure you're smarter than this to let this go on. "Love" is tricky. You love someone enough you're willing to let them do this go on? No that's not love. That's stupid so don't be stupid. You deserve better and trust me, there are better out there.

juojou · Jul 18, 2012, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by Cool girl 54

Today my bf had sex with me for two hours.then he went to the shower first,I was looking at the pics on his phone and then there was a text message from his old gf......

She sent him a pc of her being naked!!!then I looked at all the stuff they both sent to each other it was his s pics and her boobs!!!i ws realy mad but I was afrade to loose him......then I went home crying not mowing what to do...when he called I never took the phone because I didn't know what to do!!

Can u plz help me!?!?!?!?
im realy afrade to loose him and im realy forgiving

Knowing what you know about your boyfriend and hs messages you should confront him because if you don't your always going to have that what if feeling and yourt not going to really feel comfrontable with him if you don't voice your feelings

ScottGem · Jul 18, 2012, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by juojou

Knowing what you know about your bf and hs messages you should confront him because if you don't your always going to have that what if feeling and yourt not going to really feel comfrontable with him if you don't voice your feelings

Really? This guy is loser and an abuser. The only thing she should confront him with would be an arrest warrant if she is underage. Otherwise she should dump him.

ratchasi · Jul 21, 2012, 02:40 AM

Originally Posted by Cool girl 54

Today my bf had sex with me for two hours.then he went to the shower first,I was looking at the pics on his phone and then there was a text message from his old gf......

She sent him a pc of her being naked!!!then I looked at all the stuff they both sent to each other it was his s pics and her boobs!!!i ws realy mad but I was afrade to loose him......then I went home crying not mowing what to do...when he called I never took the phone because I didn't know what to do!!

Can u plz help me!?!?!?!?
im realy afrade to loose him and im realy forgiving

I would like to tell you something if he has loved you truly he would have erased all those photos in his mobile and would have shared everything with you... but on the other hand he might have felt that its unnecessary to talk about his ex... go meet him and talk to him... ask him why was he having those photos and tell him you love him more and make him understand your love to him... make him realise love is not based on bodies its on souls... speak to him frankly instead of being like this... many relationship ens becoz of not sharing and speaking each other... he is going to be a better half for you oneday and the same you re going to be his... so share each other's tots and spek to each other... yu will come to know more about him... frm the way you said that you re araid to lose him it shows me that you re tru to him and make him realise that... my advice fr you please don't have sex before marriage becoz the name love may be used for sex too some times... love should be pure between two hearts with no cheating in mind... make him understand that... all the best fr your life... let god give the one whom you love in your life... having sex at the age of 17 is too bad and I would suggest you to make him uderstand about the problem that further you may face becoz of tis... see love should be tere fr sex sex is just a part of life... make hm unserstand that... I feel very sorry fr you losing your virgin at this age in the name of love... and boy he is just 19 where a hormones of a boy will start to grow and will longer to know about sex and to have it... but it is you girl who lost something... my advice would be please take it seriusly and make him unserstand it and have a good life with him after settling in both of your life... having losing virgin at the age of 17 is so bad and that boy is also just 19 and now you are in a very big trouble make sure you don't become pregnant at this age... tell the boy the prob about this and try to have a life with him in your future... god should help you girl I feel very sorry fr you... love is something which is more than sex and sex is a part of life... I don't blame you fr doing this becoz you love and you ll do what ever he asks u...

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2012, 05:12 AM

Originally Posted by ratchasi

go meet him and talk to him...ask him why was he having those photos and tell him you love him more and make him understand your love to him....make him realise love is not based on bodies its on souls....speak to him frankly instead of being like this...

Again, REALLY? This guy abused her trust. She is supposed to running to him and proclaim her love so he can abuse her some more. Where do you get such ideas?

P.S. This site does not allow texting abbreviations we type in full words and sentences here.

ratchasi · Jul 21, 2012, 05:50 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Again, REALLY? This guy abused her trust. She is supposed to running to him and proclaim her love so he can abuse her some more. Where do you get such ideas?

P.S. This site does not allow texting abbreviations we type in full words and sentences here.

Then what is the future of her life..? She lost something precious of her life which she should not have lost...

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2012, 06:22 AM

Originally Posted by ratchasi

then what is the future of her life.....????? she lost something precious of her life which she should not have lost.....

Exactly, but its lost and can't be regained so hopefully it didn't result in a pregnancy and she can move on with her life and take up with someone whop own't use and abuse her.

ratchasi · Jul 21, 2012, 06:54 AM

Will some one accept her after knowing this..? And if she don't say these to that person is she not a cheater..? And more than that she says still she loves him and afraid of losing him...

ScottGem · Jul 21, 2012, 07:42 AM

I suspect there is a cultural difference here. But in most western cultures, not being a virgin is rarely an issue. Are you saying that she should stick with a jerk because she lost her virginity to him? That is ridiculous!

And, yet again, this guy is a loser! He clearly took advantage of her. So you are suggesting she submit to a jerk because she thinks she is in love with him? Even allowing for a cultural difference that is horribly bad advice.

ratchasi · Jul 21, 2012, 08:34 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

I suspect there is a cultural difference here. But in most western cultures, not being a virgin is rarely an issue. Are you saying that she should stick with a jerk because she lost her virginity to him? That is ridiculous!

And, yet again, this guy is a loser! He clearly took advantage of her. So you are suggesting she submit to a jerk because she thinks she is in love with him? Even allowing for a cultural difference that is horribly bad advice.

You you are right, there s a culture difference actually and as you said in case of western culture its not a matter to be considered... but its up to her as what she thinks... this boy cheated her in the name of love... it depends on each one's thoughts... lets not argue in this its only she who has to take decision finally...