[motherload]

:confused: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dated a girl in 1997-98, during which time she became pregnant.She told me she was on birth control, but forgot to get it filled! Was with her for 3/3 1/2 months of pregnancy.(but a year in total) At which time we told her parents. They became livid. Father tried to run me over with his car. Needless to say at that point things became rough.She was 19 and I was 22. Baby born in July, try to contact her, but was told to leave her alone.(by her father and her) Baby wasn't mine, NO paternity test, nothing was ever established. Last September (06) Run into ex with the child she is now 8 years old. She turns around and runs right out of the store. I see her once again and try to talk to her but no response. My question is Do I have a right to get a paternity test done to she if she is my child or not?(she looks a lot like me) I have done some digging and found out that she is now married and her husband has "probably" adopted the child.(how can that happen? Because my name is'nt on the birth cert) That my name is not on the birth certificate. And heard that if I was to do this, I should have done it a long time ago.(there is some law! Not sure) It wasn't until I seen her that she became real in a sense.(as stupid as that sounds) I had always wondered if there would be a knock on the door one day? If she is my daughter, I would like to have a relationship with her. I feel as though I've been robbed of that.I would like to start to build some form of a relationship with her now if at all possible. I do not want to take her from her from her mother. I want to know if she is my daughter? Do I have the right to get a paternity test? Where do I start? Anything of help would be greatly appreciated what to do in ontario

[RubyPitbull]

I am so sorry for what you have gone through and how much of a mess this has become. I know this can't be easy for you.

Motherload, from what I am reading on various websites, your daughter's mother could be in some serious trouble if she knowingly allowed her husband to adopt this girl when she was aware that the girl is truly yours. Do you want to cost her a great deal of money and grief, not to mention a lifetime for you, of anger and fighting with her on this? The flip side of this all coming out is that you will be responsible for child support. Can you afford this?

I know this is aggravating but I am throwing things out here for you to consider what this might do to everyone involved. I am not judging. Just giving you food for thought here. If this girl is yours, then yes you have a right to be involved in her life. But, just remember, since she is 8 years old, her "father" is the only man she has ever known as her father. Even if she was told the truth, a child that age still might react fearfully if a stranger is fighting for the right to visit with her. She will be very aware that you are the cause of her mother's anger and unhappiness. Is that the footing you want to begin with her on?

I am not trying to talk you out of this. I just wanted to give you some things to think about and consider before you jump in feet first. This is going to be a long and tough road for you.

In any event, if you want to find out the truth, this web site should help you get started. You can contact someone from this agency and they can help guide you as to what you need to do:

Paternity Fraud Canada, Paternity testing, Canada Children's Human Identity Rights DNA testing, Blood testing, Pro Choice for Men, Canada

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do!