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hesmy1Nonly · Jul 12, 2012, 05:41 PM

My finance passed away on April 17, 2012. A roof collapsed on him while he was tearing down our old house, he was screaming at me under the roof telling me he loved me and for me to help him after 2 minutes he went silent. He was under there for Almost an hour before rescue got him out. He passed 40mins later at the hospital. We have 2 kids together been together for 4 years, there are days I want to go with him and then days I can sort of smile. I still live in our home which I've been debating on moving its so empty without him, I talk about him 24/7 I can't seem to stop. I've bottled all my pain and won't let myself break down I can't let my kids or his mom see me cry I got to be strong for them. At night I hear his screams and flashes of him after they pronounced him then him in that coffin, and the gunshot at the services(he was in the army). He just has one scratch on his ARM not a bruse Nothing. It's just jot fair he was such a great man he is the love of my life, I don't know how to live without my love. Advice please.

Wondergirl · Jul 12, 2012, 05:43 PM

Why can't anyone see you cry?

Alty · Jul 12, 2012, 05:44 PM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Have you considered grief counseling? It helped me a great deal when I lost my parents. Sometimes talking to a stranger, opening up to someone that doesn't know you, is a lot easier than talking to family and friends.

I would really recommend counseling, not only for you, but for you children as well.

Again, I'm so sorry for your loss.

hesmy1Nonly · Jul 12, 2012, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Why can't anyone see you cry?

His mom can barely function and I don't want to make it worse for her and our kids don't fully understand what's happened, I open up around my best friend, I have to be strong for the kids and his mom I promised him that. The denial is pretty much gone I don't sleep in our bed and I have left everything of his where he left it. I feel like everyone is tired of hearing about it but everyone says their not, I don't want to be a burden.

Wondergirl · Jul 12, 2012, 06:06 PM

I don't understand why you think you have to be such a martyr. Like Alty said, please seek out grief counseling. You are doing a disservice to the people around you (AND to yourself) by not showing your grief. If you need help finding grief counseling, let us know.