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doubleT · Jul 11, 2012, 05:18 PM

I can't get over the fact that my girlfriend has a baby daddy. We have been together for almost a year and didn't know one another long before we got together. I love her daugther as if she is my own. But her baby daddy is in and out of her life and that kills me. I do anything and everything for her daugther and he hasn't do anything in this whole year we have been together. And she says she didn't love him or wasn't in love with him but she let me have her Facebook password and I got on it and seen some messages that she sent to so of her friends tha said she missed him and that it could be fixed if he would try. And this just a month or so be for we got together. And the other thing is I'm the first woman she has ever been with and she had been with a few other men before her baby daddy. So how do I get over this?

J_9 · Jul 11, 2012, 05:32 PM

I always wonder what a "baby daddy" or "baby mama" is. Your girlfriend has a child and the child has a father. If you want to stay in this relationship, you have to realize that this man is going to be in and out of your girlfriend's life, for the rest of her life. Not until the child is 18, but forever, because they created a child together.

If she feels like their relationship can be fixed, it seems she is not as committed to you as she is leading you on to believe.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 11, 2012, 05:51 PM

Why are you looking at her messages on her face book account? That is really pitiful.
This girl apparently still has a thing for her daughter's father. Your best bet is to leave this relationship.

doubleT · Jul 12, 2012, 09:17 AM

Originally Posted by Homegirl 50

Why are you looking at her messages on her face book account? That is really pitiful.
This girl apparently still has a thing for her daughter's father. Your best bet is to leave this relationship.

Well the messages on her Facebook where from before we got together but thanks anyway

doubleT · Jul 12, 2012, 09:21 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

I always wonder what a "baby daddy" or "baby mama" is. Your girlfriend has a child and the child has a father. If you want to stay in this relationship, you have to realize that this man is going to be in and out of your girlfriend's life, for the rest of her life. Not until the child is 18, but forever, because they created a child together.

If she feels like their relationship can be fixed, it seems she is not as committed to you as she is leading you on to believe.

Well the messages I seen where from before we got together. And she says she can't stand how he was in the relationship they had. She said he never cared for her or for their child. And he will text like every 2 months or so and just say how is meaness doing I mean he won't even call her by her name. And he don't do anyting or even ask my girlfriend if she needs help.

J_9 · Jul 12, 2012, 09:25 AM

If the messages were before you got together there is less reason to have read them. Even less reason to bring them up here. If you can't accept that this man will be in her life forever, you might want to move on and find a partner with less baggage.

tickle · Jul 12, 2012, 09:27 AM

Same sex relationship, right ? That's okay biut why are you worrying about what she said a month before you two hooked up? I mean she did give you her Facebook account password (damn I hate Facebook, it causes so many problems in relationships!)' she obviously knew you would see it.

Homegirl 50 · Jul 12, 2012, 09:54 AM

You date someone with no kids and who you feel more sure in the relationship with
Obviously her history with this man is a problem for you.

mmresd · Jul 12, 2012, 10:17 AM

You need to accept him as your girlfriend's baby daddy. It is a choice that YOU have to make to go on with this. If you can't I would highly recommend moving on from this relationship. You have made the mistake of digging in your girl's private life and found something that is going to torture you mentally, we have all made this mistake, I hoped you learned your lesson and you won't do it again, ask her to change the password and to not tell you. Also, why does it matter what she was feeling before she met you? Maybe that is the reason that has allowed her to move on, YOU, after all, she is YOUR girlfriend isn't she? It is not your job to deal with the baby's father, be good to the child since maybe one day it will be your step son/daughter, and work on your relationship with your girl, it must already be stressful to her, having you on her back about it is not making things easier.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 12, 2012, 10:25 AM

First you don't look at their face book private messages, she was foolish to give it to you.

Married 10 years and would never let her see my Facebook or emails.

Next the term "baby daddy" at least here in Atlanta in the "hood" since non hood people would have said her ex or her child's father.

But a baby daddy is one who comes back every now and then, gets to sleep with the mother since he is the daddy of the baby, gives him some ownership to the momma body. So he comes to visit not the baby but the momma.

Now if that is not it, try using proper english to tell your story, But the father of this child may be in this child's life forever, taking the child for weekend, calling the child during the week. Going to special events in the child's life.

So get over it, if you can not accept this find someone who does not have kids.