[loveorhate]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4yrs engaged for 1yr recently we had gotten into and argument because my phone got lost and he was paying the bill and we were both drinking before hand on our way home he was calling me all kinds of names such as stupid retard, dumb and I was crying my eyes out our daughter was also in the car I asked him if he would want her to be with a guy that talks to her like that all because a phone is lost he said yes and I was so hurt that I jumped out the car and started walking he followed me and then dragged me back into the car I only complied because our daughter was crying and I couldn't stop crying so he hit me in the mouth and I was shocked and my first reaction was to hit him back which I did and then he started to punch me repeatedly which lead to a bruised nose a black eye and swollen cheeks that night I told him to leave threw his clothes out he called me all kinds of names that were hurtful and degrading he spent the night at a neighbors but came back the next morning with all his clothes and I didn't say a word to him that night I had no sleep because I love him and want to be with him but I don't want to be with him because I feel as if once it's happened it will happen again he swears that it won't and how truly sorry he is but I feel as if I have to end us so that it won't happen again but I don't want to let go he is my first love and also the first person to have ever bruised me that way I know he loves me but what can I do to keep our relationship but make him feel punishment for what he has done to me? How can I forgive him when I feel like I shouldn't have to because it would make me seem weak?

[Homegirl 50]

What he did to you was out of line, and he did it in front of your daughter. He calls you names and treats you like trash. He has beat you once. You take him back he will do it again.
Do you want your daughter growing up thinking this behavior is OK? Do you want her seeing her mom get beat. Do you want to give this creep permission to abuse you again?
Leave him alone, don't allow him back in your home. The first time you are a victim, don't volunteer to have it happen again.

[loveorhate]

Oh and I forgot to add that the next day we GPS my phone and it was found at a place he went to and not I so he was the one who lost my phone in the first place.

[Homegirl 50]

You need to leave this guy. I guarantee you, you will do something else to make him mad and he will hit you again.
Abusers always say they are sorry and won't do it again, but the do.

[loveorhate]

I totally agree with your answer and what hurt me the most was that my daughter had to see my face like this for days this happened on the fourth and am now 80% healed but it's just hard to up and leave after investing so much time and love into him and he makes it hard for me to let him go he seems truly and sincerely sorry but I have yet to forgive him and I don't want to be a victim of abuse by the man that I love I have dealt with it from my family for 16yrs and I finally had the strength to leave home and that's when I met him and fell in love I don't want him to do it again but I'm just scared of what if it did he asks for forgiveness and says sorry for what he has done but I'm just in a situation where I don't have anybody to talk to no friends I'm not close with family my emotions are all over the place...

[Homegirl 50]

I understand what you are saying, but it is not just you,it is your daughter too.
Love and time invested is not going to change the situation. He abused you and given the opportunity, make him mad one day, he will do it again.

[loveorhate]

I am thinking about my daughter she adores and loves her dad so much that I don't want to take that away from her growing up without a father was hard for me she is happy seeing us together every night before she goes to bed she asks will daddy come read me a book and a goodnight kiss when he gets home from work I don't want to rob her of a great/happy childhood...

[Homegirl 50]

Having a child grow up in an abusive household does not make for a happy childhood.
He can still see his daughter without living with you, people do it everyday.
The man is abusive and you need to be away from him. Your daughter does not need to be in this situation. Heck he might get drunk get mad at something she says or does and hit her. This is not a good situation. But you have to be tired of it and it does not sound like you are there. You are looking for reasons to stay.

[mmresd]

You don't forgive him, you tell him to get out of your life and to only talk to you when it is regarding his daughter. You don't want anything to do with someone like that, I would highly suggest to put him on child support and a restraining order against him for domestic abuse.