[chantellekamfer]

I'm so in sainly jealous that it is or has ruined my marriage.I am constantly accusing my husband of loving his ex wife more when they were married than he loves me now that we are married. I am constantly comparing things he did for her to things he does for me. They where together for 18 years and share 3 kids. I'm 10years younger than her a lot sexier than her and I'm totally opposite to what she was eg:she drinks alcohol I don't ,she smokes,I don't,she goes out clubbing ,neglects her kids,and I'm a stay @ home mom always with my kids. My husband is wonderful and is always telling me how proud he is to be married to a woman like me who has my priorities straight and put my family first but yet I'm always accusing him,its so bad that I won't let him go drop off his kids @ her place(we have full custody)and he is trying his best to please me but sometimes I think he thinks I'm going over board and then we end up having this big fight and then to I would tell him he loved her more because he is fighting with me over her when in fact I'm making her the issue. He cheated on her after being with her for 8 years she forgave him and they continued their marriage for another 10 years until he caught her with a guy and he divorced her. When ever I question my husband about the affair he had (13 years ago)I get angry and upset and start asking him all these questions and we end up fighting because I would get so jealous as if he did it to me. If my husband gets a phone call and I do can not hear the conversation or he doesn't come and tell me who it was I get jealous and check his phone and messages and then it was just my mum or his mom. He has never given me any reason to believe that he has or will cheat on me if anything he tells me that what happened in his past was a learning curve and he would not want to put me and our family through the hurt he put his family that time when he cheated. I also tell him that he was jealous over his ex wife but he is not jealous over me and therefOre he loves me less. My husband and I fight on a daily basis because I am constantly watching and waiting for him to make a wrong move were by he would be inconciderate to me or make me think he is cheating. Its as if I'm a cop and I'm undercover trying to catch this man out why am I like this ?what can I do to stop this behaviour? Its consuming my life. We have a 8 week old baby girl whom he adores and I'm 13 years younger than him. I don't know what to do anymore he has told me that he feels as if he is in prison and he needs to report everything to me and that he cannot forget to tell me anything or else its hell to pay. Please help me deal with. I was also married before to an abusive man for 10 years I never caught him cheating but always thought he was. My behaviour was the same with him and I wonder if that was not the reason for the abuse ? And I don't want this relationship going that way because we have already had a few physical episodes,I want to be happy I want us to be happy I want our family to be happy but I don't know how to get rid of this jealousy

[Enigma1999]

The problem is not his ex wife or your husband. The problem is YOU.

Your last husband left you because you have issues.

Stop being so jealous and pick up a hobby. Another one that is that doesn't pertain to watching over his every move.

You have way too much time on your hands.

Look, what they shared before was then. He made a mistake by cheating on her and doesn't want to relive that.

Who cares if you think you are "sexier" than her. That means nothing in the end. What will mean most in the end is how HE is treated.

I feel sorry for him. Reading your post made me upset, so I can imagine how this poor guy feels.

Sorry that I am not more sympathetic, but you are a grown woman, mother, who realizes what she is doing wrong.

Let me tell you, NO man wants their wife to act like their mother.

You will end up losing him, and he will most likely go back to his non controlling ex if you keep up with these games.

[J_9]

It's time for some counseling for you. You need to get to the root of your jealousy problem.

[chantellekamfer]

You are righT enigma 1999 ,I do realize that I do have a problem and I don't want to lose him becAuse even through all of this jealousy he still tries his best to please and adhere to my some what silly and impossible request sometimes.I. Also thought that I might have too much time on my hands and you are right because I have nothing keeping me ocCupied I tend to let my mind run wild and come up with all these thoughts of jealousy. I will be starting college in a few days and maybe then I will be pre-occupied thank you for being so honest

[ANGIE4124]

I shall refer to this in your next post; "Is my marriage over?..."