[Moochieca]

My father was terminally ill in the state of FL he at the time was astanged from his children off and on we are adults an aunt of his was with him. He died while with her does his childred have a right to his ashes he has no surviving spouse his four living children , he lost one to death any assistance is greatly appreciated

Thanks

[Fr_Chuck]

Was there a will ? If so what did it state, who was over his estate in probate ( or was there someone)

But who handled his final affairs, sold his property, closed his bank accounts, The person who had the court ordered authority for that, would be the one in charge, appointed by the will or the court

[joypulv]

Generally the funeral home gives the ashes to the person or persons who paid for the cremation, with a lot of paperwork to sign, IDs shown, and so on. It would be presumed that had you wanted to be part of this, you would have been there during his illness and at his death.

You can certainly ask his aunt for a cup each; there's plenty, about the size of a 5 lb bag of flour, or slightly less. Many families divide the ashes. But if she resents your lack of involvement emotionally and financially, she might refuse.

[ebaines]

+1 on Fr_Chuck's answer. The executor (called "personal representative" in Florida) is legally the one who is responsible for administering your father's estate, including disposition of his ashes. But it's wise to consider what your father may have wanted - if the childeren were estranged and the aunt was the only family member who felt it important to be with him in his dying days then I would advise that if she wants the ashes by all means let her have them. Keep some perspective on this: the ashes are only ashes - they are not really "him" any more than a lock of hair or a fingernail is the person it came from.

[smoothy]

Moochieca does not find this helpful : A little harsh due to joypulv does not know reason for the estrangement. Thanks anyway

Please take the time to read the site rules for comments. Not helpful is never allowed for a opinion... only for factually incorrect information. The information given was not factually incorrect.

[needanswers331]

My mothers passed away when I was in jail and her sister has her ashes and won't give them to me her son. When my mother was in her final days I had talked to her over the phone and she told me she wanted to be cremated I contested but that was her decision but also she said she wanted her me and my brothers and sisters to have her ashes but when she passed my aunt took them and told everyone that my mother told her that she wanted her to keep them when we all ( her childern ) know that my mom wanted us to keep her ashes. Are there any legal ways I can contest this? Because she also had money given to her brother for us as well and my aunt lied to him told him to give her our money and that she would split up between the children.But she took the money and spent it on herself. Please I am very heartbroken over this because I wasn't able to be with my mom in her last days and I promised her that I would do what she asked with her ashes and now her sister is ruining my mothers wishes.

[JudyKayTee]

You have no idea what your mother's last wishes were unless you were there, at her deathbed. This is all oral agreements, conversations, from what I can tell nothing in writing.

You can always go to Small Claims Court but in my area SCC can only order a return of belongings OR a monetary reward. It cannot force compliance with an agreement.

It appears your mother knew you were "against" cremation. Why, if this is the case, would you want the ashes?

As far as taking the money - was there a Will? Was there a probate proceeding? Again - if not you were not there at her deathbed and really don't know her final wishes.

You are heartbroken that "she" took the money and spent it on herself?

[ebaines]

It's important to know whether your mother had a will, and if so did the executor perform his/her duties in following your mother's written wishes. If there was no will then someone in the family (your aunt?) should have taken the lead in having a personal representative named to handle the estate, and then the representative should have distributed the assets of the estate in accordance with state law. So, do you know whether your mother had a will, and do you know who the executor was? You may have recourse to sue the executor if you believe he/she failed to carry out directives of your mother's will, or failed to follow state law. Also, what state did your mother live in, and how long ago did your mother pass away?

[JudyKayTee]

In NY, absent a Will, oral declarations are binding - for example, on my death bed I leave everything to you (ebaines). OP does not know what mothr said on her death bed - IF she was of sound mind.

I also see no mention of who PAID for the cremation. Is this where the money went? I realize OP was in jail but it appears siblings were not.

Agreed - need info, including size of estate.

[AK lawyer]

In NY, absent a Will, oral declarations are binding - ...

Really? I wasn't aware of that. As far as I know, in all other areas (at least in the US), if there isn't a will, one goes by the intestacy statute, and oral declarations (deathbed or otherwise) don't mean squat.

[ebaines]

I leave everything to you (ebaines).

I don't know what to say! All I really wanted was your home in the Hamptons and the Ferrari in the garage... but hey, thanks! ;)

[JudyKayTee]

Really? I wasn't aware of that. As far as I know, in all other areas (at least in the US), if there isn't a will, one goes by the intestacy statute, and oral declarations (deathbed or otherwise) don't mean squat.

That's why I asked the amount of money (and how it was held) - if we're talking $50 in a wallet or $1,000 in the bank there's a difference.

I called an Attorney friend and asked for a cite - I investigated a woman who died and on her deathbed gave her vehicle to her sister, skipped her children - no Will, didn't sign title, nothing. Small estate - the sister kept the car.

NOW maybe it wasn't worth litigating - as I said, I have a call in -

NY does not recognize hand written Wills, that I'm sure about.

[AK lawyer]

...

NY does not recognize hand written Wills, that I'm sure about.

I think you will find that there is a specific set of law concerning so-called "holographic" wills. In some states, a will that is not witnessed, notarized, or whatever the statute requires for "regular" wills, can be recognized nevertheless if it is entirely written in the testator's hand. That's the way it is in my state (AK), last I looked, anyway.

What I think you are saying is that NY doesn't have such a law.

If a will is hand-written but nevertheless complies with the statutory requirements (witnesses, notary, whatever) would be OK. In other words, I don't believe a typewriter or printer is required, is it?

And then there are special rules for wills executed by active-duty service men and women in foxholes. But I forget exactly how that works.

[JudyKayTee]

I think you will find that there is a specific set of law concerning so-called "holographic" wills. In some states, a will that is not witnessed, notarized, or whatever the statute requires for "regular" wills, can be recognized nevertheless if it is entirely written in the testator's hand. That's the way it is in my state (AK), last I looked, anyway.

What I think you are saying is that NY doesn't have such a law.

If a will is hand-written but nevertheless complies with the statutory requirements (witnesses, notary, whatever) would be ok. In other words, I don't believe a typewriter or printer is required, is it?

And then there are special rules for wills executed by active-duty service men and women in foxholes. But I forget exactly how that works.

§ 3-2.2 Nuncupative and holographic wills
(a) For the purposes of this section, and as used elsewhere in this
Chapter:
(1) A will is nuncupative when it is unwritten, and the making thereof
By the testator and its provisions are clearly established by at least
Two witnesses.
(2) A will is holographic when it is written entirely in the
Handwriting of the testator, and is not executed and attested in
Accordance with the formalities prescribed by 3-2.1.
(b) A nuncupative or holographic will is valid only if made by:
(1) A member of the armed forces of the United States while in actual
Military or naval service during a war, declared or undeclared, or other
Armed conflict in which members of the armed forces are engaged.
(2) A person who serves with or accompanies an armed force engaged in
Actual military or naval service during such war or other armed
Conflict.
(3) A mariner while at sea.