[Mrsaddlebronc]

I am a 25 year old male. My girl and I have been together only a couple months. We have had sex twice now. I lost my virginity to her, she has had a couple partners in the past. After we had sex the second time, she tells me we need to stop having sex for a while. She says she starts kind of in the mood then she loses it. I know this is most likely cause I'm not experienced. She then tells me when we have sex, she can't stop thinking of her ex from 7 months ago. She says he did things a certain way that I am not but she won't explain what she wants and just tells me to read a book. What am I doing wrong or what can I do. I know I'm new to this but she's kind of throwing it in my face that I'm not as good as her ex. Any advice?? Please help!

[Enigma1999]

Yes. Leave her. She is not over her ex.

If a man EVER compared me to his ex in bed, I would tell him to go find her again, because I'm out of here!

You are a rebound. Shame on her for taking your virginity!

[Synnen]

If she can't show you or tell you what she likes, then she's selfish.

You really SHOULD stop having sex with her for now, because: 1. She isn't over her ex. 2. She doesn't know or can't explain what she likes and 3. Communication in your relationship is off. If you can't TALK about sex, you shouldn't HAVE sex.

[Mrsaddlebronc]

We have been talking about it all day.. She doesn't want anything to change otherwise in our relationship, she just wants the sex to be better.. Since I'm new to it I feel it's my fault for not doing certain things or knowing certain things. She says I'm making too big a deal about it and that she just wants to be honest about things.. No matter if nobody is to blame I still feel like its an insult to me being horrible in bed where I haven't even had a chance to figure anything out yet.

[Synnen]

No... it's her fault too, for not communicating and teaching you how to be better.

It wouldn't HURT to read up on ways to pleasure a woman, but in order to pleasure YOUR woman, you need to communicate about it.

[Enigma1999]

Again, shame on her.

She should not be comparing you to her last lover. Tacky!

She should be explaining in great detail what she wants. Bad teacher.

You haven't done anything wrong...

I think it's sweet that you waited this long to share yourself. Too bad it was with a person who seems cruel.

Sorry. Just call it how I see it.

[Mrsaddlebronc]

It just felt like a slap in the face because nobody wants to be told that they should try reading a book because they aren't so good in bed... she wants to tell me what she wants but she isn't extremely experienced either, alls she knows is she like the way her ex did things but likes the way I treat her and that the sex doesn't matter... I don't want to be a disappointment, I want to be better obviously so I Guess my next step is to try some reading material.

[Enigma1999]

As it should feel like a slap in the face...

Being that this is all new to you, she should have been more considerate towards your feelings. Not with insults and comparisons.

Let me put it to you this way... if it were a mans first time, and I was the one taking, then I would make sure to place his hands, fingers, lips, tongue and other things exactly where I want them, also telling him how good it feels and asking HIM if this or that feels good. Why? Because sex is AWESOME when there is communication. Call me old fashioned, call me aggressive, but I demand that not only I have an orgasm, but HIM as well!

My true advice is to be done with her. Not only because of lack of communication and you possibly being a rebound, oh and let's not forget the comparison to her last lover, but because you deserve better. However, my standard pathetic fake trying to follow the guidelines advice, I guess communicate with her.

That being said... good luck.