[ladybug1414]

I'm new to this website but basically I just want some advice with my situation. My boyfriend and I were together for almost two years and it has been about three weeks since we brokeup. He said that he didn't want a relationship right now and we were fighting too much, that his feelings have changed and all that stuff but he still wanted me in his life. The first day after breaking up he and I decided and also with talking to his mom that we were going to see in a month how we were feeling about each other and a relationship again. In the first week we continued to talk a fair bit and we would talk about this "chance" a lot which made us both stressed out and we would argue. I ended up saying a week later to him that we should not discuss it anymore since every time we did he would say how much he still would not want to date me and how nothing will change. I have tried to assure him that with this "chance" I'm not looking for us to jump back into things and I just want to have fun with him and see where the feelings take us. He is very off and on about this whole thing though, one day he says okay ill give you the best chance cause you deserve it then the next he says well it won't change and I'm enjoying my life right now. (Even though he still talks to me everyday and knows he has me wrapped around his finger)

So yes we have still been talking a fair bit and we will usually still say goodnight to each other every night (I have left the amount of talking we do up to him), but some days he will talk to me a lot being happy and positive then the next he will still text me but barely talk (so its like why did you text me anyway haha) and sometimes he just acts all moody to me.

Today when he texted me I started telling him how I was going to start focusing on myself and not him and maybe I would realize I don't need him anymore and all he responded was "yeah i know that could happen." then I said I would talk to him later and he said okay, ttyl. (we would always say this knowing he would text me whenever later on) so I waited all night cause he would usually at least text me before he slept and he never did so I texted him asking why he didn't and he responded right away saying well we aren't dating anymore and I was like I'm aware but you know just as well as I do that we usually say goodnight to each other and he was just like okay well I'm sleeping now, grr it was annoying.

I am only 19 and he is 20 and I really do want him to experience life without a relationship with me because I know sometimes that's all it takes for him to come back but he can be very cruel with the things he tells me like "oh i would never marry you, our personalities are too different". I'm like okay then why date me for two years if we were sooo different haha. Throughout the time not with him I have been trying to focus on why we fought so much and what really went wrong with us and whenever I tell him that I've been thinking of that he asks to hear it and then says stuff like I'm glad you've realized. It just seems like lately he's been suddenly drifting a little, not much but enough to make me worried. He works a lot in the day and is usually very busy as well. We are still very close and the only thing I am holding onto anymore is this "chance" because even if it's stressful right now with him I;m looking forward to just having fun with him again and seeing what feelings are still there. I just wish he wasn't so negative about this and would just let things be and stop acting so off and on to me. Everyone I've talked to have said he doesn't know what he wants and he wants the best of both worlds which makes sense but I'm just tired of it at this point. Our "chance" will be happening in probably a week or so, but I just don't know what to do in the meantime or even what to do when this "chance" comes, any ideas?

[talaniman]

You really do need to start to have fun without him, and let him have fun with out you, which he probably is. You had two years of each other, and instead of waiting for this chance to happen, leave him alone and get a life without him that you enjoy.

Acting like there is a chance is a waste of time. It just keeps you stuck, and distracted from other good things in your world. Not good for him to think you are just waiting on that chance to happen.