[Lady sad]

By boyfriend for the last 5 years says he didn't need porn as he's got me now I found it on his laptop he says it's not the women it's the act position and he looks at that then thinks of me in in that position whilest tossing himself off I don't get it

[smoothy]

By bf for the last 5 years says he didn't need porn as he's got me now I found it on his laptop he says it's not the women it's the act position and he looks at that then thinks of me in in that position whilest tossing himself off I don't get it

Just face it... you are female... you might never understand it... just like we will never understand what women see in romance novels... soap operas and chick flicks.Or why some women act the way they do.

Point being... We men do not think the same way women do... men are visual... a man that doesn't like seeing naked women is either gay... or dead.

It also has nothing to do with you... You can be Roseanna Barr or you can be on the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition...

We still like to see a variety of skin... our ability to remain monogomous and faithful has absolutely nothing to do with that, they are separate things that are not linked in any way.

[Lady sad]

Thanks for the reply watching a chick flick is not the same how can it be I don't masturbate over it and watch in secret my main reason for asking is that he says he looks at the image and then looks away and imagines me is this what men do or is he trying to soften the blow all I need is honesty then I can deal wit it another point is he doesn't like the typical porn style he looks at sites wit real women one site was adult work I am confused and want to know if what he said is true I am very unsure by the way I have asked hi
All this and he says the above please help it really has got me down :(

[smoothy]

Thanks for the reply watching a chick flick is not the same how can it be I don't masturbate over it and watch in secret my main reason for askin is that he says he looks at the image and then looks away and imagines me is this what men do or is he trying to soften the blow all I need is honesty then I can deal wit it another point is he doesn't like the typical porn style he looks at sites wit real women one site was adult work I am confused and want to know if what he said is true I am very unsure btw I have asked hi
All this and he says the above please help it really has got me down :(

It IS actually the same thing to the female brain as porn is to the male brain...

And no way can you claim reading a romance novel or watching most chick flicks you don't have ANY response at all to the material?

Most porn sites have real women's pictures... adult cartoons or computer rederings aren't all that common or popular.

They are real in the sense that they are human... and porn movies are no more or less "real" than anything that comes out of Hollywood.

What he is doing is trying to tell you what you want to hear because you obviously are having self esteme issues.

First thng you have to understand... his looking at porn has ZERO to do with how he sees you... they are separate things...

Example... I happen to like seeing both Asians... and large breasted women of any ethnicity... and guess what... I married a small breasted European woman and I've talked her OUT of wanting an augmentation because I think she's perfect as she is...

Now before you get into trouble with him... let him have his harmless fun... he's not interacting with another female that speaks to him...

He's an adult and entitled to have his "me" time and space as you are for your things. Try to sulk.. intimidate.. shame or do anything to prevent him from his "ME" time... and you start driving wedges in the relationship between him and you.

As I explained... one does not have anything to do with the other.

If you are suffereing from self esteme issues... then you are best served by getting counseling yourself for why you feel bad about yourself... shielding yourself from anything that you don't want or don't like is avoiding the real problem... you are yourself.. you are unique.. you are who you are and should be proud of that. And not feel bad because someone else might have a firmer boobs... a rounder firmer butt... a few less wrinkles... you have to remember when you compare yourself to someone else someone always has something that's a little better than you have... no matter who you are. You are a unique combination of features and traits... You can not and should not expect to be exactly like someone else.

And the most important point to remember... you aren't in competition with a photo or movie on a computer... he's with you... if he didn't like you, he would be with someone else... Married or dating... people leave people they don't like to be with every day. Consider that he chooses to stay with you.

[Pr3tty_in_pink]

My boyfriend said he was doing the same thing and this came after I moaned about it, it was possibly a desperate attempt at trying to get me to let him keep it (he had loads). Did he say this story straight away? Does your boyfriend lie about other things? I would suspect he is lying as he said he didn't need it because he has you and he could be saying that so you will allow him to carry on. At least he is looking at people similar to real woman, I wouldn't be as threatened by that.

[smoothy]

He doesn't need permission to either keep or use porn from anyone. Any female that got in her head I needed her permission would have gotten shown the door. As would most guys do as well.

He's an adult... and as an adult he gets to make those decisions.

[Pr3tty_in_pink]

I have to disagree, I think he does need permission it involves looking at other people in a sexual way that some people class as cheating.

[smoothy]

Maybe in your world... but in the rest of the world he's not her servant or slave. Nor is she his.

Want serious problems in a relationship... don't treat your partner like a true equal... and you'll get it in spades.

[JudyKayTee]

I have to disagree, I think he does need permission it involves looking at other people in a sexual way that some people class as cheating.

Not in the adult world - I may do or not do something because my husband asks me - but I'm an adult and really don't need his permission to do anything.

From what I've seen you've been on 4 threads about porn so I'm not too sure how the asking your for permisison angle is working.

[Enigma1999]

If you start to control him, he will leave you.