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    Ashley54321's Avatar
    Ashley54321 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 5, 2012, 11:31 PM
    Lied to my boyfriend about my age
    My boyfriend just turned 20 and I just turned 16 he think I am 17 though and it is killing me that I just keep on lying. I Want to tell him the truths but I can't lose him he's all I got! I need advise please no bad comments thanks:)
    C0bra_M3nace's Avatar
    C0bra_M3nace Posts: 1,296, Reputation: 223
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    #2

    Jul 6, 2012, 04:15 AM
    You come onto a website full of parents and adults, telling all of us you're in an illegal relationship and say "no bad comments thanks".

    Hah.

    Do your parents know you're going out with a 20 year old? Maybe you should tell them first, see if they even approve.

    As far as the lying part goes, of course you're going to lie. You know you're in a relationship you shouldn't be in, so you need to pretend you're someone you're not to fit into it. Too bad, he'll find out sooner or later so if you don't tell him you're just digging, digging and digging deeper into this lie.

    What on earth would make a 16 year old want to go out with a 20 year old. That is just ridiculous, sick and plain wrong.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #3

    Jul 6, 2012, 04:38 AM
    You cannot dictate who or how we respond. Hopefully, you are not sexually active with him as you could be setting him up to go to jail.

    You need to be honest with him immediately. If you lose him then he didn't really care about you and it will be a consequence of your bad decision to lie to him. If he does really care, then he may put your relationship on hold until you are "legal" but you will know how much he cares.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,591, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #4

    Jul 6, 2012, 05:01 AM
    If you go through life thinking some guy 'is all I've got,' then you are setting yourself up for a life of misery. You need to start thinking that you are what you've got. Every one of us has to learn to know how to be alone. Without that, you can't be with someone else, or you become needy and dependent and drive them away.

    And how fair is this lying to HIM? He's the one who will get in trouble, not you. It's selfish.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 6, 2012, 05:10 AM
    You have three choices,
    1. do not tell him, keep lying. He will find out, at your next birthday, from your friends, so he will find out, if he finds out from someone else, he will leave you for sure, because if you lied about this, what else could you lie about.

    2. You could just leave him, that way you don't have to tell him the truth and if he finds out latter it does not matter.

    3. Or you can tell him the truth, if he does not care and as long as your parents know about this and it is OK with them that you date him, keep dating him. I doubt he will leave you for this.
    Homegirl 50's Avatar
    Homegirl 50 Posts: 10,794, Reputation: 2604
    Dating & Teen Expert
     
    #6

    Jul 6, 2012, 08:42 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace View Post
    What on earth would make a 16 year old want to go out with a 20 year old. That is just ridiculous, sick and plain wrong.
    Hormones

    Tell the young man you lied. Do your parents know you are dating a 20 year old and is there sex involved? This could be real trouble for him

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