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    blueJay_'s Avatar
    blueJay_ Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Jul 2, 2012, 12:58 PM
    Erections
    I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He was a virgin when I meet him. He's 36 years old and you would think that having sex more then once a month would bother him. I don't think he's interested in sex at all. I really need some advice on weather its worth the time to continue in this realationship or not.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #2

    Jul 2, 2012, 02:49 PM
    Blue jay, this may seem unhelpful but have you asked him why he doesn't seem to want sex more often? How well do the two of you communicate about intimacy? Not just intercourse but fantasies, desires, likes, dislikes, etc. Do you share affection and intimacy in other ways such as hand-holding, cuddling, etc.

    There are a lot of factors that can affect a person's libido. Just a few are stress, medical issues, medications, hormone levels, exhaustion, even timing and environment. Is he healthy and stress-free? Do you (without meaning to) pressure him for more sex than he is wanting?

    Is sex the only thing wrong in your relationship? When a couple has different sex drives, they can learn to compromise if the relationship is strong enough in other areas. It does take work, patience and understanding.
    blueJay_'s Avatar
    blueJay_ Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 2, 2012, 02:59 PM
    Thanks for the response. The only thing wrong in our relationship is the sex. He loves me and I love him we cuddle and hold hands and all that relationship stuff but I need more. I guess I have to buck up and ask him what's REALLY going on.
    WisperWill70's Avatar
    WisperWill70 Posts: 277, Reputation: 84
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    #4

    Jul 2, 2012, 04:14 PM
    Some guys have a really hard time talking about sexual problems. He may not be able to tell you, or it can take some time. If you are loving (without assuming, blaming or impatience) it will help. Take the attitude, "I want to learn about how you feel"

    If all other areas of your relationship are satisfactory he might need to see a doctor for a physical problem. If he doesn't want to talk about his problem -- suggest he see a counselor
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #5

    Jul 2, 2012, 04:32 PM
    Does he have trouble getting an erection ?
    blueJay_'s Avatar
    blueJay_ Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #6

    Jul 2, 2012, 04:35 PM
    It gets hard but not hard if that makes any sense. And then if I give him oral it's the same.
    WisperWill70's Avatar
    WisperWill70 Posts: 277, Reputation: 84
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    #7

    Jul 2, 2012, 07:04 PM
    Sounds like a visit to his doctor might be the next step. (But not to be scared because some degree of impotence can happen at any age!)
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