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mrzvanna · Jul 2, 2012, 08:47 AM

I've been talking to this guy since December and I really like him but the problem is that he's really Hott and cold. One day we talk all day and the next I don't hear from him. But we recently started talking again after one of his cold spells and it really seemed like our relationship was finally going to move to the next level. It seemed like we were both happy and I even gave him a bj( that's as far as we've gone) and we made plans to hang out yesterday. Well I was out of town visiting my sister for the weekend and while I was there she wanted me to go on a double date with her I didn't want to go but she made me feel bad so I said I'd go. Once I said I'd go I told my guy straight up that my sister wanted me to go on a double date with her and he said OK just for me to come visit him before I went out that night. And I did then I went out and told him is call or text when I get back. (This was Saturday) But I didn't text until Sunday mornin because I got hone late and didn't want to wake him and I told him that.and yesterday we were going to meet up after church at about 2 and he never called or texted or returned mine and at about 10 that night he said that he couldn't make it and he thought is be busy because I had a 'late night' last night. I think that he thinks I had sex but I really didn't I'm a black girl and I don't date white guys at all because Im not attracted to them at all.and the blind date was white. I tried to.tell him all this but he said ' whatever do Wat you want' and ha said he'd call later because he was driving but no call or text and still today no call or text. Was I wrong? And if so how do I make this right.

smoothy · Jul 2, 2012, 09:10 AM

Originally Posted by mrzvanna

I've been talking to this guy since December and I really like him but the problem is that he's really Hott and cold. One day we talk all day and the next I dnt hear from him. But we recently started talking again after one of his cold spells and it really seemed like our relationship was finally going to move to the next level. It seemed like we were both happy and I even gave him a bj( that's as far as we've gone) and we made plans to hang out yesterday. Well I was out of town visiting my sister for the weekend and while I was there she wanted me to go on a double date with her I didn't want to go but she made me feel bad so I said I'd go. Once I said I'd go I told my guy straight up that my sister wanted me to go on a double date with her and he said ok just for me to come visit him before I went out that night. And I did then I went out and told him is call or text when I get back. (This was Saturday) But I didn't text until Sunday mornin because I got hone late and didn't wanna wake him and I told him that.and yesterday we were gonna meet up after church at about 2 and he never called or texted or returned mine and at about 10 that night he said that he couldn't make it and he thought is be busy because I had a 'late night' last night. I think that he thinks I had sex but I really didn't I'm a black girl and I dnt date white guys at all because Im not attracted to them at all.and the blind date was white. I tried to.tell him all this but he said ' whatever do Wat u want' and ha said he'd call later because he was driving but no call or text and still today no call or text. Was I wrong? And if so how do I make this right.

What you need to do is find another guy... this one just on behaviour is one that's going to cause you a lot of grief in th enear future.

EnigmaMCMLXIV · Jul 2, 2012, 12:29 PM

This guy has been hot and cold since December then all of a sudden he is talking to you again? So what has changed? Why in the hell would you give this stranger a BJ? You went on a double date with your sister, you do not have to justify yourself with this person. This sounds like he is doing the control play. He is going to not talk for awhile then he expects you to keep contacting him because he wants to see how desperate you are for him. After awhile he will call you make you feel grateful he called you back. This is when the controlling starts, remember at this point he has no respect for you. He do not care about your feelings it is going to be a game for him. I wouldn't play no game... move on he is not worth it.

smoothy · Jul 2, 2012, 12:40 PM

I f you like being nothing more than a booty call... stick with him... if you want a lot more... dump his sorry butt.

mrzvanna · Jul 2, 2012, 02:31 PM

Originally Posted by EnigmaMCMLXIV

This guy has been hot and cold since December then all of a sudden he is talking to you again? So what has changed? Why in the hell would you give this stranger a BJ? You went on a double date with your sister, you do not have to justify yourself with this person. This sounds like he is doing the control play. He is going to not talk for awhile then he expects you to keep contacting him because he wants to see how desperate you are for him. After awhile he will call you make you feel grateful he called you back. This is when the controlling starts, remember at this point he has no respect for you. He do not care about your feelings it is going to be a game for him. I wouldn't play no game...move on he is not worth it.

He is not a stranger we have been talking for 7 months. But your right he's not worth it. Thanks.

smoothy · Jul 2, 2012, 03:12 PM

You've only known him 7 months... he really IS a stranger still... it takes years to really know someone well enough to even consider marriage. After only 7 months you can't possibly know that much about him yet.

mrzvanna · Jul 2, 2012, 03:24 PM

Originally Posted by smoothy

You've only known him 7 months...he really IS a stranger still...it takes years to really know someone well enough to even consider marriage. After only 7 months you can't possibly know that much about him yet.

Didn't say anything about marriage. But your right there is still a lot I didn't know about him.

smoothy · Jul 2, 2012, 03:34 PM

Originally Posted by mrzvanna

Didn't say anything about marriage. But ur right there is still a lot I didn't know about him.

I know... but you would be surprised by the people that think they know someone well enough to marry in that amount of time... then will argue about it... Just putting it into perspective... they all end up divorced in fairly short order.

WisperWill70 · Jul 2, 2012, 04:26 PM

You don't know him fully and his hot and cold actions mean that he wants you to be there for him (sexually, to flirt with, to feel in control) -- but he doesn't want to put it on the line and be in a real relationship. He's just using excuses to keep drawing you in and pushing you away. You still don't know him, he'll still be hot and cold.. nothing has changed. Move on and find someone who cares about you and wants to get to know you.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 2, 2012, 04:30 PM

First there is no commitment, and you should have been free to date, many people will date two or three people till you find one to be steady with.