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ciberchicDR · Jun 28, 2012, 08:37 AM

My boyfriend(he's 35) and I (28)are in a serious relationship we have been dating for almost a year and are currently living together. He is very caring but some what distant when it comes to emotional things. But I can't take the lack of sex or sexual desire in our relationship.

Our first unofficial date ended up in us having sex. We had sex a couple of times more and it was pretty great. But after we started really dating everything just stopped. No kissing, no forplay, hardly any sex. I've talked to him and he says he loves sex and our sex life. We have what he calls sleepy sex. Which is side by side "cuddling" with penetration no fuss no nada.As I'm typing this I spent the whole night trying to iniciate and telling him I wanted to have sex with him. He hugged me and went to sleep.I'm seriously frustrated, I end up masterbating a few times a week to take the edge off and stay faithfull (cuz the devil lurks lol). What am I doing wrong? Physicially I haven't changed. He's at a better job and is doing well financially. He talks about a future with me so we are moving in the right direction. The sex is just bad or nonexistant. He's been sexually active for many years now with a few girls and I've had a few sexual conquest of my own. I love him a lot just don't know what more to do! PLEASE HELP!!

CravenMorhead · Jun 28, 2012, 09:49 AM

From what it looks like, he has a naturally low libido. Far less than yours. Is he on any medication or anything? There are some drug interactions that can cause this. Is he generally healthy?

What can you do? Accept that this is what you're going to be living with for the rest of your life. There is precious little you can do with a lack of libido.

How important is this to you is the question you need to ask yourself. Can you see yourself with this level of intimacy for the rest of your lives?

ciberchicDR · Jun 28, 2012, 11:03 AM

Thank you for your response. I've actually thought that the low libido might be the case.He's not on any medication, but I've wondered if male pattern baldness a factor I've overlooked. I'm not god gift to men but I've never had a problem with getting a "rise" from my partners in the past. I am willing to work on it just that he thinks all is fine. Even after I've told him other wise. Maybe I'm at my sexual peak and he's already passed his. I'm just really wanting this to work. Because other then that we have a really amazing relationship.

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

From what it looks like, he has a naturally low libido. Far less than yours. Is he on any medication or anything? There are some drug interactions that can cause this. Is he generally healthy?

What can you do? Accept that this is what you're going to be living with for the rest of your life. There is precious little you can do with a lack of libido.

How important is this to you is the question you need to ask yourself. Can you see yourself with this level of intimacy for the rest of your lives?