[brownelm]

I have been married for 29 years, and have 3 children. My husband will do anything for his job, but not for me. I am totally alone now, as my children have grown up, and he leaves for work before sunrise, and gets home at 6 PM. His routine is to have supper, have a shower, then fall asleep on the couch until he goes to bed at 9PM. I have tried to talk to him and tell him how I feel, but he says he sees things differently, and doesn't see a problem. I don't know what to do. When I try to talk to him, he goes quiet, or leaves the room. I can be sitting on the couch crying, and he will never ask what is wrong, just waits until I get over whatever it is. I really can't stand it. I am so sad all the time, knowing that the love we had is gone forever, and he doesn't care. Little things that I ask him to do for me, go undone, often for years. I just feel so alone and so helpless to do anything about it. We fought so hard to be together, but now, all he loves is his job.

[talaniman]

How old are your children? What activities and friends do you have on your own? I think he is distracted by the weights of older guys to both retire, or get his kids in school. We often fall into these ruts when the goals are very high. Often it's the stay at home mom that bears the brunt of this. I assume you are and have been for a long time a stay at home mom?

If so, the schedule of the family is often yours also, and has little room for you. Make room for you, and what you enjoy, and do things that makes you happy, and form your own routine.