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Nakalita · Jun 20, 2012, 04:18 AM

Should I atend my disrespectiful step daughter's wedding?

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 20, 2012, 04:22 AM

Totally depends on how disrespectful she is. Remember blood is thicker than water, but if water is running through her veins then maybe reconsidering is in order.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 20, 2012, 04:50 AM

Will not going cause trouble between you and your spouse ? Will sitting for 2 hours at some wedding to perhaps help family issues be that bad ?

After the wedding will you still have her in your home, or have you broken all ties and not allowed her in your home.

Being spiteful back only makes her be more disrespectful ( with a reason now) how close is she to your spouse and will she use that with them against you?

Nakalita · Jun 20, 2012, 06:52 AM

Here is the problem I have at hand. I met my husband and planned to get married, while courting he told me he had a child girl aged 9 and that would I still marry him. I loved him so much for even telling me about latter asked him to bring the girl home since she had been dumped at His moms house. Since he had no relationship with the child -girl he opted to put her in boarding school. When my parents got to know about the bastard daughter they cancelled our wedding. I loved my man and I was willing to do all to look after his child, she was young so I thought what would go wrong.
Problem is that the girl always returned with all kinds of behaviour and never helped out with house choirs. The father tried talking to her. She would be good sometimes and bad other times. I escourted father on most of all the visitations at school and tried to be her friend. When she had a prom party her father couldn't buy the dress and when she told me about it I bought the dress. 2 years later I have my own kids and she stated acting like the big bad sister, never used to care for thnem and they grew to respect her stuff. After high school her needs increased, her father kept telling herto get a job to take care of her needs eventuially I hd to get her a fone & a job.
When she went to university she continued disrespecting me. I always talked to the father abut her but he's would either ignore it or go to her room and discuss issues from there. When she graduated I was not informed of the day or about the party to be held at my house. She's now getting married and thefther was the first to know and they are now planning the wedding.I am sooooooooo furious I don't trust my husband anymore!! The family wants me to attend the wedding but am not sure I should go. Help me please make a good decission

C0bra_M3nace · Jun 20, 2012, 07:04 AM

If you really love your husband, I would suggest going. Not attending would only light another fuse in the tension that seems to already have been risen, but if you want to start another feud and get on some people bad side, it's your choice.

Nakalita · Jun 20, 2012, 07:05 AM

Here is the problem I have at hand. I met my husband and planned to get married, while courting he told me he had a child girl aged 9 and that would I still marry him. I loved him so much for even telling me about latter asked him to bring the girl home since she had been dumped at His moms house. Since he had no relationship with the child -girl he opted to put her in boarding school. When my parents got to know about the bastard daughter they cancelled our wedding. I loved my man and I was willing to do all to look after his child, she was young so I thought what would go wrong.
Problem is that the girl always returned with all kinds of behaviour and never helped out with house choirs. The father tried talking to her. She would be good sometimes and bad other times. I escourted father on most of all the visitations at school and tried to be her friend. When she had a prom party her father couldn't buy the dress and when she told me about it I bought the dress. 2 years later I have my own kids and she stated acting like the big bad sister, never used to care for thnem and they grew to respect her stuff. After high school her needs increased, her father kept telling herto get a job to take care of her needs eventuially I hd to get her a fone & a job.
When she went to university she continued disrespecting me. I always talked to the father abut her but he's would either ignore it or go to her room and discuss issues from there. When she graduated I was not informed of the day or about the party to be held at my house. She's now getting married and thefther was the first to know and they are now planning the wedding.I am sooooooooo furious I don't trust my husband anymore!! The family wants me to attend the wedding but am not sure I should go. Help me please make a good decission

Jake2008 · Jun 20, 2012, 08:29 AM

"the bastard daughter"... that is really, really cold.

It seems you have as little respect for her, as she does for you.

My advice is to step up, and ASK her if she wants you there. Straight up. The history between the two of you isn't a secret, obviously.

Regardless of anything, it is her wedding. It is up to her to be okay in wanting you there. It seems already to be a problem if you have been getting opinions on the matter from other family members as you've said.

Please try to be the bigger woman here, and talk to her. If she says she would rather you not be there, then accept it with grace, and not say another word- to anybody- and leave it at that.

Fr_Chuck · Jun 20, 2012, 08:34 AM

So many issues being raised, she needed parents not friends, and her dad let her down by not forcing her to do duties and punishment when she did not. She is spoiled, she knows she controls dad and dad will do what she wants over you every time. You are second to the dad and will be that way.

You need to really worry less about the wedding, and start considering your relationship with your husband

Nakalita · Jun 20, 2012, 11:01 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

So many issues being raised, she needed parents not friends, and her dad let her down by not forcing her to do duties and punishment when she did not. She is spoiled, she knows she controls dad and dad will do what she wants over you every time. You are second to the dad and will be that way.

You need to really worry less about the wedding, and start considering your relationship with your husband

Thank you. I need to consider my relationship with my husband.

Nakalita · Jun 20, 2012, 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by C0bra_M3nace

If you really love your husband, I would suggest going. Not attending would only light another fuse in the tension that seems to already have been risen, but if you want to start another feud and get on some people bad side, it's your choice.

Am considering out. Your right mu not gong or even getting involved in the wedding arrangements has already started another tension in the famil. Am already the bad one. My chice... amnot going. She hurt me really bad.