[veganlove852]

It seems I am on the verge of breaking quite a lot of "rules" here and I need some advice. I got hired at a restaurant a year ago and developed a crush on one of the cooks. At the time, that was all it was: a crush on someone I didn't know. Then, as the months went by, I did get to know him and realized that I really liked him. Really liked him. I joked around with him a lot, and he did the same with me. I even got the impression that he may like me.

However, I soon found out that he was 24. Considering I am 16, I figured that may be a bit of a problem. So, even though I still liked him a lot (I had no problem with his age) I backed off just a bit. I convinced myself that he wasn't worth either of our reputations or our jobs. Yet, I still liked him.

Maybe a month after that, I found out that he had a girlfriend, and that not only do they have a son together, but she was pregnant. (note: I heard she has a ring, but he calls her his girlfriend to me) This just about broke me because I really liked him. But I thought, who gave me the right to even be "heartbroken" over this new information when the most I've done with the guy is flirt a bit at work. So, I tried to distance myself and save my sanity. Which didn't exactly work because I tend to waitress at least 5 nights a week, maybe more. That's almost 30 hours a week where I can't distance myself. I felt like a pathetic lost cause.

Yet, the months went by and I continued to enjoy his company (at work) despite common sense. Which brings us to the real reason I posted this question. Now that school's out, I've been working doubles almost everyday. He likes to point out that he sees me more than his own "girlfriend", which I suppose is true. Last week, he texted me for the first time and that led to a really flirty conversation. (note: he only has my number, and I his, because we're required at work to have all employee numbers) We basically told one another that we liked each other, and though it felt good to finally know where he stood, it made me feel guilty. He asked me one night what I wanted from him, because he was older and had a family. He said he didn't want to hurt me, but thought I was someone who he could talk to easily. I responded that I didn't want to ruin anything he had with his girlfriend/fiance, especially since they have a son and were expecting this month. He said lets just play it by ear. Which we had been doing until yesterday. His girlfriend's water broke.

We haven't talked since then and I don't know what to do. His mind should be entirely focused on his family, I know that. I realize that he's 1) older, 2) someone I work with, 3) engaged, and 4) a father. But I really like him. Though it may seem otherwise (since he's talking to me) he is a great guy. I don't want to hurt anyone, and he doesn't either. So, before this goes any further, should I just suck it up and leave him be? I feel like I should, but I don't know if I can. I need advice on this.

Thanks in advance for reading my novel and answering. I really appreciate it.

[Fr_Chuck]

You need to leave him alone, even quit the job if you can not be mature enough to use self control. This is so wrong to be immoral and shameful

[Wondergirl]

You're a good writer. Now, look for another job. Can you really stop things now and continue to work there? You would have to set VERY firm boundaries and stick to them. No more flirting. AT ALL.

[talaniman]

Many of us get caught up in our feelings and all I can say is if those feelings lead you to cross the lines of good behavior, don't act on them, or remove yourself from the situation. Best to be honest with yourself, and see this crush as a temporary thing that will pass if you don't act on those feelings.

Its about dealing with yourself, and keeping your dignity, and self respect, as common sense is telling you this is a bad path to follow, and could cost you not just guilty, and hurt feelings, but you both could be fired, and he end up in jail.

Sometimes bad actions feel good, but there can be some severe consequences for bad judgment. You may as well learn to nip things of this nature in the bud instead of following those feelings.

Playing things by ear is a bad idea, when it comes to co workers, and older guys. And the more contacts you have on a personal level, the closer you come to those lines of bad behavior. At work, ALWAYS keep it businesslike, and professional, and don't mix business, and personal feelings.

A job is too important to screw up because you cannot control your own feelings. Your dignity is too important to screw up because you cannot control your personal feelings.

[jonalu]

First of all you sre going to hurt and destroy so many lives uncluding yours. Girl start dating people your age experience thing with these boys your age I'm pretty sure some boys like you give them a chance you don't need to be with a man who probably sleeps around with many girls. He just wants to have sex with girls he can sweet talk to. He's fake girl.