[RAYSCAR57]

Ok before I even start I'll say how this guy and came to be intimate was wrong..

I moved in with my best friend and her b/f about 9 mon.ago.When I met her b/f I knew I was attracted to him and him to me.. We ended up having feelings for each other and didn't act on them at all for awhile.. I tried dating other people and he stayed with my friend.But
One night we couln't contain it any longer and told each other how we felt.. We didn't sleep
Together for quite awhile because we knew it was so wrong.. In between my friend stopped taking birth control and said nothing to him and ended up getting pregnant and also cheated on him.The baby is his! (3mons. Later)Sooner or later we did sleep with together.. My friends would go to work and we couldn't wait to just hold each other.He always slept out in the livingroom on the couch and I slept on the floor.. He never slept with her in her bedroom.. He told me he loved and wanted to be with me and he wanted to cry sometimes when he had to pretend he didn't have feelings for me in front of her.. I told him that if we were to be together then he'd have to make a choice and we'd have to be honest with my friend but 4mons went by and he said and did nothing.. His friends would come over and ask me out on dates but I love him so much I couldn't and he would get so mad when any guy hit on me.Especially when they came to the house to talk to me.Finally, I decided I couldn't take it any more and moved to let him be with her.. He got mad at me and would not speak to me for a week before I left.. then finally told he wanted me to stay but I didn't and now he tells me he wants to move where I am and he misses me... He still lives with her and the baby is soon to be born... When I think back to him and I... I see all the loving looks looks he gave me and times he was there for me and all the things he's said that make me believe he does love me but that to me does not out weigh his actions now...



Does he love me or is he just playing the field?? Please help me! Jenn

[tinsign]

As much as you might love him he is going to change as soon as that baby is borned. He will have child support and yes that baby and her will be in his life for at least the next 18 years. If he had loved you that much he would have not kept it secret from her, and would have found a place for the two of you way back then. It should have told you then he was a louse to begin with.
Now this lady is having his baby and he just wants to up and leave her?. I don't care if he claims she did it on purpose or not the fact remains he played her by cheating with you and YES you allowed it to happen ( not proud of you for that.. she was your friend) but also he probley will cheat on you later.
MY ADVICE move on and learn what cheating and being used can cause nothing but heartache for all involved.
I don't mean to hurt your feelings or attack in anyway just stating my old-fashion beliefs on this.

[RAYSCAR57]

First she did stop taking her birth control and did not tell him... I was there and witnessed it and she asked me not to say anything... He already has a little girl (not with her)... My friend also has a little girl (from my x-b/f).. I don't know I'm so confused when it comes to him.. I do agree with you I should move on thank you.. And yes I was VERY WRONG!!

[tinsign]

First she did stop taking her birth control and did not tell him ...I was there and witnessed it and she asked me not to say anything...He already has a little girl (not with her)...My friend also has a little girl (from my x-b/f)..I don't know I'm so confused when it comes to him ..I do agree with you I should move on thank you..And yes I was VERY WRONG!!!!

The best thing you can do now is just tell him you are not going to be the next victim of his.. Omg listen to me this man is never going to be able to support you in the future with any bills etc. why now he has another child and already has one.. honey what does that tell you? WAKE UP this man is just going to use you until YOU STOP IT.
Do you really want that sort of sorrowful life ahead of you if he does move lives with you? I am telling you he will bleed you dry with money as well as emotional stress.

[RAYSCAR57]

Thank you your right...

[tinsign]

Thank you your right......

You will be happy honey that you shut the book on him for good ( for that I am proud of you)

[kp2171]

Waiting for him is distracting you from moving on and finding a healthier relationship.

You like what he said and how he made you feel. Guess what? There are other people in the world who can do the same. Its just they are not right there, right now.

So it might seem like he's "the one"... but this guy has a lot of baggage. Unless you are willing to deal with all of that, I think you know you need to back off.

no... its not easy to do when you care about someone. I lost my first love and was heartbroken. Then my second. And also my third. My fourth... well, we married. Seven years next week. Its worth all the heartache and hurt you go through to find someone who is right for you. That also means a healthy relationship, right timing.

I'm thinking this guy just isn't right for you. Too much drama and chaos.

Also, learn from your mistakes. People who cheat often do it again. You know you helped another cheat, and on a friend no less. Demand more from yourself and respect yourself better.

[talaniman]

Your whole life is unhealthy built on lies and deceit, and that includes you also. Get out and away from all those people and find a healthier more honest way to live. This is not love but a perverted sex go round with no boundaries.

[strong__dan]

I think he loves you but just not as much as it seems. If he really loved you that much he would move with you and tell his girlfriend the truth. I have been seeing someone like that myself so finally I just asked him and he told me he didn't want to date me. So now I know live and learn. I would recommend getting the book "He's just not that into you".